Family Matters

The past few days my family has been spinning as we have been dealing with a life game changer. As we move forward with decision making and overcome the challenges of what is coming, I have been reminded of the importance of family and the support it brings.

As I look forward to my wedding and the life that awaits me when I start my own family, I forgot what it means to really come together in a time of catastrophe. All the blessings going on in my life caused a temporary loss of sight for what it means to be a part of something bigger than myself; a whole bigger than the sum of its parts.

Family is a just that, a group of people bound by blood and heart working together for a common goal. A team of people likely to have never crossed paths if it wasn’t for fate and DNA sharing and building a legacy. We may have injured players or weak links but together we are strong. Together we provide support, strength, and love to each other.

I have a family of survivors and we will continue to do just that, no matter what the challenge. We are fortunate to have each other, even if we don’t always appreciate or understand that fact. Cordiers, Moores, Fells, Wards, and so many more have come together by birthright or marriage, or good ole fashion faith and we have created a network of believers, supporters, helpers, and providers. We created a FAMILY. And as we move forward we will need to rely on that community. We will need to keep building and expanding that so that what remains is a heritage, an inheritance of love and laughter that will live until the end of time (generation to generation).

We all go through hardships, we all share blessings, we all strive for something to be proud of but sometimes we forget that we are born with that; a last name that means something, relationships that withstand fire and ice, a community of people that want nothing more than our happiness and success.

So I am more than myself, more than the sum of my immediate parts, I’m a part of something much bigger than myself, a family! A family that I continue to be proud of, one that I continue to support; a legacy for which I hope to contribute my best self.

We may not always like each other, or comprehend, or agree but we will always have each other and love each other and that counts for something that I can’t honestly put into words.

To New Orleans and Back

I am back from my mini-Easter vacation!!!  My first road trip with the Man of Steel and my dad was a success.  Celebrating one of my favorite holidays with my family and good food is something I can’t capture in words. What I can do is share some of the nuggets of goodness that continue to bring me joy from this weekend trip.

Road Trip – my Dad is the greatest (like ever) and he decided this trip he was going to play backseat driver.  He wanted to be chauffeured (driving Mr. Daisy style) so that is what happened.  That way he was able to be in my fiancée’s ear the entire time.  My favorite reoccurring line was “why are you doing that, you shouldn’t get in this lane…well let me be quiet, cause I’m not driving” Either way my dad also imparted quite a bit of historical knowledge on us. For a man that planned to sleep and rest he actually talked for 6 of the 7 hours we drove (coming and going).  The man has lived an adventurous life; I’m actually surprised I turned out so responsible (pretty sure that was my mom and her goody two-shoes karma). Other facts I learned: 95% of our road trips involve rain, my dad supports peeing in nature’s bathroom (the woods) instead of gas stations, dogs are fair game for kidnapping, Alabama has been under construction since the 70s, Missouri is not for me, and Thailand has the best "herbs"!

Living History – my grandmother (in all her 91 year old glory) shared so many great stories with me during my trip.  I was educated to the importance of marriage and how to make one work! I was also informed about the tradition of a Hope Chest (which I apparently will be receiving since I am newly engaged). I learned a little bit of this and whole lot of that, including the magnificence of Johnnie Walker Red, a fine whiskey indeed.

Gross streets of New Orleans – sure the food is great and the nightlife is 24hrs but NOLA is no place for the weak of stomach!  We decided to stay downtown and get our tourist on, what we found were blood stains, vomit, and the health hazards galore. Dear girls walking around without shoes aside from the dangers of broken glass and rusty nails, people pee and barf on the street, so put something on your damn feet. You would be surprised how many folks were not wearing shoes!

Family Fun – I love my family and they bring me such joy. From my tell it like it is grandma to my aunts and uncle, who are hysterical.  The only people I know that can cuss each other out in love, talk politics and religion (while watching King of Kings), then turn around and teach you the art of grilling and the proper way to drink liquor.  A well read, well versed group of nuts that welcome any challenge. We had several generations of Cordier’s all at one house and it was epic!!!

Evolution of the Easter egg hunt – apparently times have seriously changed. When I was kid you were lucky if your Easter egg contained candy. You were also lucky to not get poison ivy while hunting for them. At the Easter egg hunt we held this weekend, the eggs were stuffed with money (dollar dollar bills ya’ll).  Then somebody lost a bracelet and offered a $10 cash reward to whichever kid could find it! Thanks for setting the bar too high family, I don’t want to have to maintain this expectation of cashing in at family functions in the future (family time is painful and free, check the history books).

Who are you? - Meeting and re-meeting family you haven’t seen in years is always fun. For the record telling me "that’s your cousin" doesn’t exactly explain the family connection. Especially in New Orleans where cousins can be blood related or come by way of marriage, relationships, or street convo. Who’s your daddy (or momma)? That is the only way to tell who you belong to!

Drinking – I still love drive through daiquiris shops. That’s all I can really say about that! Dad I wasn’t drinking or driving (not simultaneously I mean). I did drive, then drink but never at the same time or in reverse order. I did however drink and walk because New Orleans lets you do that!

Invest in a pick-em-up truck - the streets in New Orleans are terrible. You feel like you constantly have a flat tire or that you may have run over a drunken body. Eventually the paranoia subsides and you realize why everybody drives trucks; to combat the streets and to tow grills of course.  I felt like I needed to invest. LC truck driver coming at you *honk honk*!

All in all, we had a great trip. We have some business collaborations in the works and plans to do it all again sometime soon. I love holiday weekends!!!!



Grill Master +Blaise Cordier 




Dad meets Grill




Crawfish plate




Circle of Crawfish life... cooler to boiler to belly




Oysters cooking (with burger in hand)



Man's gotta eat - G-Man gets down with da crawdads



Trucks have so many uses (Jungle gym)!



Family Ties cause Growing Pains

I received an email this morning that irritated me. Without going into detail, it made me realize some very key points about dealing with family, specifically siblings. Contrary to popular belief, I am not an only child. I do have a sister who is just as talented and smart as I am.  Unfortunately that is where the similarities end. In true fashion we are complete opposites, with very different world views and there is nothing wrong with that until we are in a room together.  Dealing with each other is complicated, difficult, and utterly chaotic.  I am certainly a subscriber to love but don’t like.  I love my sister but I sure as hell don’t like her a good 75% of the time.

I learned some valuable lessons from reading my morning email that I have decided to share with others:

·         Aggravation Never Sleeps – apparently 5:40 am is prime email writing time. Hell, according to my upstairs neighbor it is also a great time to vacuum and listen to music, so why not. If you are upset or angry about me offering you help 2 months ago why take the time to email me at 5am. Feel free to call me my number hasn’t changed!  Apparently, 2 months is a reasonable time frame for an email response. That shit cray; crayfish that is (dirty, bottom –feeding but enjoyable when boiled). Deliciously entertaining indeed!

·         Tone and Tact – when you interact with family some common observances that you would have with strangers tend to vanish.  Why is there this level of comfort with family that equates to the elimination of tact? People are people including your family.  Tact goes a long way with all but in the absence of it manage your tone effectively. ALL CAPS are never necessary and how you talk to me needs to change. Let me also pull a point from Talladega Nights just because you say “don’t take offense” before you speak doesn’t give you license to say whatever you want.  I will Shake and Bake you…believe it!  

·         Expectation of Privacy – when dealing with family much like the government there is no expectation of privacy. Everybody will and does want to know your business but me! Moms gossip, grandparents worry and family reunions are prime real estate for talking about the black sheep. If you have a problem with that, don’t be the black sheep. Otherwise suck it up we all deal with it.

·         Entitlement – entitlement does not exist in family dynamics. Respect is earned; Trust is earned; Compassion and tolerance are optional. You can’t just talk to people any kind of way.  You can’t expect respect without giving some. You don’t get a free pass on paying back debts and you should still say thank you when people take time, money, and leave to help you out.  Everybody’s time is precious not just yours. Everybody’s life is busy, not just yours. 

·         Age ain’t nothin but a number – this is more than a song, it is a statement of truth. As far as family goes they tend to treat you how they see you. That’s why your aunts still call you by your childhood nickname or why you still have difficulty as an adult cussing around your grandparents. It’s just what happens. In my case, I will treat you how you act, capeesh?!

·         Messengers are for the lazy – if you have issues with someone address them directly. Don’t send me information so I can be the messenger. You got beef, then take it to their streets don’t take it to my email inbox.  

·         Salty Lies –just a mental note that the truth is relative to the day of the week.  *heavy sigh* Insanity really is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Family makes you insane.

·         We are family by blood not by choice – I didn’t get to choose you! We are bonded by DNA kiddo.  We all have family we wouldn’t deal with if we weren’t related.  So tread lightly…Blood is thicker than water, until it is diluted. You can only do so much to people before family ties start to unravel. I’m going to banish myself like they do in movies; be excommunicated from the tribe so I don’t have to deal with this foolishness. I love you but I don’t have to deal with you, you gon learn that today!

·         Thugnificient - Holla at a playa when you see me on the street trick and then say what you have to say about the money you owe me!

The ideal family fantasy in my head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s44v6VlyGHU is often overshadowed by something more real http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDRNE7sL0rc but that's life sometimes.

Yes, I know I didn’t use a reference from the Cosby Show, I was making a non-race specific point!  I do however, still aspire to be Clair Huxtable and eat obscene amounts of jello. Enjoy your Monday folks!

Flowers in the Attic (What If Friday)

Happy Late Friday! You know what that means…it is time for another question from If (Questions for the Game of Life). Remember, my goal is to invoke thought, and encourage randomness all at the same time.  Bear with me I have had a glass or two of wine and just finished painting!!!

Question: If you could find one thing, besides money, in your family attic, what would you want to discover?

Let me start by saying attics absolutely creep me out, even more since watching American Horror Story last season!  I’m not likely to willingly go into one unless it is to retrieve money. So if I’m in said attic I hope I don’t find ghosts, possums or other living creatures, disfigured human children, or anybody elderly.   I also hope that I don’t fall through the ceiling or step on insulation (its itchy).

If I had to pick something other than money to find in my family attic, I would want historical documents (photos, letters, journals, travel orders, health records, etc) OR I would want to find music (records, tapes, sheet music, etc)! 

Family history is awesome and I don’t know mine well at all. I would love more photos and memories of my family even the family I don’t know.  They say you can’t know where you’re going unless you know where you have been!  I would rather not pay the ancestry.com fee and would much rather find that information in my family attic, in a box covered in about 25 years worth of dust!  I also hope to find it already scrap booked and in digital form (this is my fantasy people no objections)!

Music is another thing that tells a chronicled story about a person.  What does your playlist say about you??? To find the music my family members listened to through the years is a great way to have insight into history in the most creative way, plus it would give me a kick ass record collection.  I will one day own a record player and in true artsy, anti-conformity, elitist spirit I will play records on it just so I can get that crackle sound, impress my house guests, and really enjoy the classics in original form!

 That is all people…get out of the attic and go have a great night!!!

Friends come in many forms!