Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Late night conversations with friends lead to early morning despondent me, an exhausted and sleep deprived LC.  In my tired state this morning, all I can think about is a full body massage. Like many of the other suckers in the world I have a membership to Massage Envy.  I’m charged $50 or something like that a month for a one-hour massage that I never seem to use!

I feel a strong need to invest in a personal masseuse.  Male friends this is not an open invitation for you to offer your “services”. I want a trained professional, legitimate masseuse.   I need relaxation in my world right now. I have a ton going on (which is what I enjoy) but occasionally my “burn the candle at both ends” lifestyle can be exhausting.  I seriously just want someone to rub my muscles until they are putty.  I will probably forget this strong desire and not call Massage Envy and book my appointment, but I digress.

Moving on to my next thought; Friends are an important part of your personal sustainability. They are the culmination of energies you need to deal with trauma, celebrate milestones, and meander through this crazy journey called life.  Good friends are hard to find and keep these days but once you have friends that you can trust and depend on you are solid gold! Take care of the people in your life build them up, tell them the truth out of love, help them get rid of evidence, and help them get intoxicated when they are trying to forget.  Friends are important and there are some things real friends should do; yes I have spelled them out for you:

·         Adult friends know they can call you before 8am because you are headed to work (they also work)

·         College Friends are SEC fans (Go Dawgs)

·         Friends actually shop off your gift registry but still ask what you need

·         Friends answer the phone at 1:00am

·         Friends are invited to your milestones (Weddings, baby showers, End-of-Summer BBQs)

·         Friends are welcome around your family (parents, kids, spouses, etc)

·         Friends don’t let friends go to hell (think about it)

·         Friends don’t send chain letters, forwards, or phishing scams to your email (if this happens by mistake a real friend will call you and let you know not to open the email)

·         Friends don’t sleep with each other’s spouses or significant others

·         Friends have photos and secrets that they will gladly take to the grave (you have the same dirt on them, it’s only fair)

·         Friends help you get into spanx (only applies to females)

·         Friends help you pick a theme song (think Ally McBeal circa 1999)

·         Friends know how to reach you at work and never call unless it’s an emergency (i.e. engagement, cheating scandal, sickness, family issue, work complaint, etc)

·         Friends know where you live (because they probably helped you move)

·         Friends over 30 don’t ask you to borrow money

·         Friends pick you up from the airport not just the train station

·         Friends quote how long they have known you in years and/or incidents (the break-up of 2001; we go back to middle school; remember that time at band camp)

·         Friends talk you out of bad decisions or hold your hand despite them (No I told you so, just how can I help)

·         Friends understand and embody loyalty (pledge allegiance to our friendship)

·         Friends use Scoutmob or Groupon (to save you both money at dinner)

·         Friends use the phone or face-to-face interaction to wish you well (FB is for public display and people that don’t actually know your birthdate)

·         Good Friends tell you NO

·        Married/Involved Friends confirm your spouse/significant other is foolish/crazy *insert appropriate* adjective here but remind you that you love each other

·         Real Friends know what Ride or Die means!!!

·         Real Friends love you for you

I know they say people come and go into your life like seasons and that is often true of many friendships. As you get older the qualities you value in relationships and friends evolve.  The reason you build connections with people starts to become situationally dependent. No matter who and why just be sure that you value and nurture your friendships because they are important.

Listen to Whodini http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tECCvdWEweA



Real Friends stick together even when things get messy!



The Heart of the Matter (Love)

Now that I have had a good night’s sleep I’m back to having random thoughts. I had so much on my mind this morning most of it related to the Wizard of Oz. Don’t ask why people, it never makes sense! But I’m in a romantic and whimsical mood this morning and I was thinking about what makes people extraordinary.  What makes them loveable?

I have been listening to a great deal of India Arie and Musiq Soulchild today and Neo-Soul has a way of making you hate love and want to be in it at the same damn time. And the artists of the movement paint a very simplistic (but relatable) view of the significant other.  Opposite of the white knights and princess images we are bombarded with in childhood fiction and romantic comedies.  The overly extraordinary lover! But isn’t all LOVE extraordinary? That’s the point, love makes the impossible possible, it transforms the peasant farmer into the King; the bar maid can become a beautiful princess.  Love is the filter that often makes the ordinary extraordinary.  

I think about my past loves and there is a lot about them that could be defined as ordinary but I saw deeper. I peeled back layers and got to see a side of them that many people never saw. That’s what made them special to me, the things I saw through filtered glasses.  I know that filtering also glosses over the bad shit but let’s dwell on the positive you Debbie Downers!

I retweeted an Uber Fact the other day that stated: Scientists suggest that the average person will fall in love seven times before they get married.

I don’t take stock in twitter and I know everything I read isn’t true even if I get it from Wikipedia. But it made me think as many things do! I thought 7 times is a lot of lovin to get to the ultimate love. But is that ultimate love so finite. Isn’t it just finding that extraordinary person (to you) that your love for allows you to transform feelings of selfishness and freedom into selflessness and permanency.  That happens more than once for some or just the one time for others! My opinion is that it is pretty simple! Its life that is complicated not love… Loving is the easy part. Staying and working through the hard times is the complication.   

With that in mind, every now and again you come across a person that is extraordinary before the love. Those are the people that fascinate me. Some people are stars that shine brighter than others; people that resonate with you in such a way that makes you want to love them or at least be around them.  Some people can have an effect on you that leaves a lasting scar much like being impaled with a fishing spear would. Those rare souls that live on this earth to remind us what the stars are like. What makes them extraordinary is their spirit!

The problem with the “good” extraordinary folks is a lot of people love them. You might even say they are easy to fall in love with but history implies they may often be difficult to love.  I think these magnetic people just have to work harder at finding love. I mean how many other extraordinary people are out there to procreate with?!  We regular folks are looking for other regular folks that have elements of extraordinary to shed light on our ordinary being. For some of us that means superhero powers including the ability to read minds. Others might search for silly things like acceptance and understanding. Blah I want an endoskeleton fused with adamantium…Team Wolverine!   Whatever you are looking for or have been lucky enough to find, I hope the love shines light on the extraordinary.

Love is magical indeed and despite all I have been through I look forward to experiencing it again.  Now that is off my chest, I will return to my regularly sarcastic and abrasive self!