I visited Google offices yesterday and immediately realized that my work environment is subpar in comparison. After hanging out for a few hours in the temple of glory my day concluded with what can only be described as a Lemony Snicket’s series of unfortunate technological accidents.
No Juice- the afternoon started when my work blackberry died while I was reviewing web pages for a project I was working on. Thank you secret tracking app on my phone for sucking all the life from my battery so I no longer can do simple tasks like surf the web or dial.
Car vs Parking Machine – I had a little run in (literally I ran into) a parking pay machine. It was a love tap, no damage was suffered accept to the paint on the front of my car and my timeline for the day. I was running late, I thought I had cleared a corner that I obviously did not clear and just like magic, BOOM. The machine was unscathed, my car had minor paint transfer and I was able to laugh hysterically for about 20 minutes. It may have been a defense response but I’ll take it. The 20 minutes I wasted pulling over, laughing, and trying to figure out if everything was ok made me later than I already was getting back to my office.
Down Goes the Server – My team was working on a major report scheduled to go out around 1:00pm (that’s what i was reviewing when my work phone lost power) we get everything finished and submit for posting. 2:00pm no web pages, 3:00pm no web pages. What is going on!!! We pushed that to the server before 1:00pm. 3 phone calls and an incident ticket later…4:00pm still no web pages. WTF do you mean the servers were down. 4:15pm and I have web pages which only sucks because I was supposed to go home at 2:30 but had to wait for this to go live so I could send an email notification to 45,000 people. FML
Photoshop Hell – because I was delayed at work an additional 2.5 hours longer than intended, I had to go straight home and start working on a Photoshop project for work. My job hasn’t approved me for Photoshop on my work computer yet I was tasked with a project that needs me to use it. So I use my home computer and software to complete the job. 16 slides of photo shopped images and 4 hours later I am still working on this crap. Then my computer starts throwing a hissy fit and the rainbow circle of death appears. Restarts, open files, and tries again. Eventually all was complete, but then when I logged into my network to send the document my computer decided to get funky with it and not attach the ppt files. After a few obscenities and a granola bar break I tried again. I think I should get over time for my overtime and additional hours for pain and suffering.
Chrome come Home – after all that I figured I had some time to work on some blog and other related projects, playing around with logos courtesy of KBanks and making backgrounds. But low and behold Google chrome started acting all the way out. Not letting me login, giving me error messages, not saving my changes, removing my analytics code, not displaying photos, the list went on and on. I figured I needed to give my computer a break, so I tried on my ipad. Jokes on you LC, chrome wasn’t working their either. No I don’t want to use mobile app, no I don’t want to login to Google+ right now. Chrome come back to me, your people seemed nice this morning what happened. ARGH!!!!!
Blackberry your days are numbered – to add further insult to injury my personal blackberry decided it needed to update an app without telling me (while I was in the middle of email). Shut itself down and went incognito for about 1 hour. You piece of shit phone, you have 32 more days in this world, use them wisely.
I’m not sure why all my electronic devises are joining the dark side and rising up against me but I am seriously outnumbered. Being human is becoming increasingly more difficult when surrounded by all these machines.
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