LC is boarding a jet plane in a few hours and heading to NYC! No I am not bringing Pace Picante Sauce but yes I am excited! In classic procrastination fashion this blog is late today because I am still running last minute errands for my trip. The business of travel is sooooooo tedious, I would much rather watch Olympics gymnastics (team USA did their thing winning that Gold).
I do enjoy traveling but I despise preparing for travel and this blog is serving as my mental checklist to make sure anybody (i.e. me) is prepared.
1. Clean House – I find it daunting, icky and often smelly to come home to a dirty house. So I make it a point to clean before I go! This includes my kitchen (mainly dishes) and bathroom. That pine sol fresh smell goes a long way in my opinion. For the record I do hate cleaning, it’s the lazy bum in me but it’s cool because I will one day make enough money to hire a maid. It will likely be a male maid and he will likely be white (just out of principal). Judge not!
2. Grab cash – as I have learned recently traveling through back woods Mississippi not everybody accepts credit. I also learned that Wells Fargo is not everywhere. Seeing as how that is my bank of choice I have no choice but to carry cash, just in case.
3. Share your itinerary – this is 2012 people and unfortunately people are kidnap and murder crazy. To avoid Natalie Holloway situations try to avoid dealing with strangers and make sure people know where you are going. I shared my trip plans and schedule with multiple friends and family. I know I’m a black female so that makes me harder to kidnap and sell into the sex trade but that doesn’t mean people won’t try. My dad is ex-military and my man is determined! Both of them are armed and clearly have seen Taken so they know what to do!
4. Pay your Rent – this only applies when traveling during the 1st of the month…did anybody else immediately start humming Bone Thug-N-Harmony?!
5. Charge all electronic devices – if you are addicted to Words with Friends or twitter like I am then you truly understand the importance of this checklist item
6. Wash a set of sheets - because of a nasty incident with a spider in college that caused me some pretty life threating infections and a lovely dimple on my rear-end, I like to prepare a clean set of sets to put on my bed when I come back from a trip. I even leave them in the dryer so they can’t be compromised. Spiders are tricky, malicious, creepy, overly-legged bastards of the insect world but one spider won’t stop my show!
7. Get your hair done – for me fresh perm makes travel that much more enjoyable. Soft hair blowing in the wind makes this jet setter look and feel AMAZING!
8. Hydrate and moisturize - I’m mainly referring to your body! I am traveling by air so will be required to remove shoes to go through the infamous security scan. Nobody wants to see ashy feet, they may ask for your autograph thinking you are a professional brick kicker (awkward)!
8a. Don’t be a drug mule it is a felony! They have internal scanning devices for a reason.
8b. Don’t wear intricate shoes, it slows down the security line and is super annoying to fast paced people such as myself
9. Tweet and FB post your progress - in an effort to annoy people and incite jealous be sure to post countdowns, airport photos, trip updates, etc. Do it hourly if you are going to some place cool like the Caribbean, Europe, Africa, etc. It makes you feel powerful and world traveled! Perhaps even respectable.
10. Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood – it’s real in these streets!
That good people is the recipe for success when traveling! The next time we talk I will be sipping wine in NY because that’s how I roll! Carmen Sandiego Out!
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