Birthday Week Begins

Happy early birthday to myself and Happy Monday to you all!  It is officially 2 days until I turn a fine 29! And I am home sweet home and back to business.  I have vacated upstate New York hoping to never return (dear Beastie please move back down south).  I feel the need to recap my weekend and upcoming birthday plans just to bring more joy to my jet-lagged mind.

So I traveled to Syracuse, NY last week for what was originally supposed to be a pre-birthday vacation full of partying and drinking and the oh so funtastic Atlantic City.  Well Mr. S. Russell (the S stands for Stonewall) had other plans.  My ace-boon-coon was diagnosed with kidney stones and rendered invalid after having surgery a few days before I arrived.  So I spent quite a few days playing Nurse Betty, Driving Miss Daisy, and being the Maid in Manhattan but in upstate NY. 

I don’t mind caring for friends it’s kind of what I do but I was bummed I didn’t get to party it up and have the kind of fun I had anticipated. However, I was paid in trident gum and food which resolved any residual hard feelings that were brewing.

I do need to express my utter annoyance and current dislike for upstate New York! Syracuse is nice and all but we had a few kinks that caused me to simmer and nearly boil over with aggravation.

1) Gift Shop Highway Robbery – yes I went to buy nick-nacks and customary trinkets from a local gift store near the university.  To the store owner that swiped my card before giving me a total it is not ok that you charged me $73.98 for 5 items (coffee mug, socks, bottle opener, and 2 magnets). No it isn’t cool and yes I said something but you playing dumb and then pointing out that all sales are final after I purchase is really jackass of you.

2) University Eavsedropping – dear college girls it is not acceptable for you to eavesdrop on conversations hoping to find out if we are talking about students you may know. We are 29, we don’t go to your school, and yes it’s ok for our friends to be pregnant because they are adults. Never in your life should you turn your chair to actively listen to another person’s conversation. Use your manners and listen covertly!

3) French Revolution – dear man from Quebec no I don’t speak French. No it’s not ok to approach women on the street and follow them talking in your weird accent for 3 blocks. No I don’t have anything else to say other than welcome to New York!

4) Blackberry Sucks – dear blackberry please stop ruining my adult life. When I click email messages I should get those (not texts). When I post to facebook it shouldn’t take 20 minutes.  When I enable foursquare you shouldn’t freeze. Just work I have to keep you for 8 more months and I really don’t want to cause you bodily harm.

5) Airport Woes – Rochester airport you are a disgrace to all that is airport glory. Sure you have short lines but your airport staff is clearly subpar and uninformed. Really open my suitcase and take out everything, then ask me to move quickly replacing the mess? Really not assigning me a seat or boarding zone when I checked in? Really not telling passengers of the weather delay? Really not having any real restaurants and food? Really not having enough overhead space for 10-12 people’s bags, then checking my luggage? I’m over you and next time I will pay the extra $100 and fly into LaGuardia because they know what they are doing.

I did learn some valuable lessons while in NY including:

·         My stomach is no longer equipped to handle mousse-based desserts no matter how tasty

·         I hate the smell of cities (never breath through your nose)

·         Driving a Camry is pretty nice

·         Crab legs can cause hand injuries

·         I want a blue nose pit-bull

·         I can cook under any conditions including not having pots

·         Any sales tax higher than 7% makes me sad

·         Olympic Track and Field is the business

·         If trampoline is a sport so is Sour Patch Kids Couch Catch (we were bored)

That entire series of incidents aside, I returned safely to my home state of Georgia and my birthday kicked into high gear because of the Realest man I know! He was there to greet me with hugs, kisses, and PRESENTS.  Apparently blogging and list making pays off because this girl right here ended up with the best birthday presents EVER! I received my very own iPad TV connector (complete with onsite installation) and the Coach- Bleecker Weekend Tote. Two gifts that totally kick ass! Netflix instant stream from my iPad to my TV has implications no one can truly understand and a coach weekender makes all the difference when navigating airport foolishness (sometimes a purse just won’t do).  So thank you kind sir you have started the Birthday week off in glorious fashion. This birthday is going to be great!

Next up is dinner with some greats on Wednesday and gift pick-up from the parental untis on Friday! I’m thinking me and another fine Leo lady I know need to have some kind of gathering on Saturday! We shall see!