Ode to Football

Dear Football,

We have come to the end and I’m sad to see you go.  Thank you for another season of hard hits, ridiculous officiating, glorified reporting aka ESPN exposés (I’m talking catfish), camaraderie, great catches, amazing runs, goal line stands, losses, wins, and overall joy from watching supreme athletes compete at the highest level.

Now that a Super Bowl champion has been declared (Congrats to the Baltimore Ravens) our love affair is temporarily on hold. You return to the shadows as players recover, teams rebuild, and basketball players start to stretch their legs.  As we close the door on another season of greatness, I shed a tear knowing that I will have to go on without you.  No college football flags to wave, no tailgates to attend, no college game day or NFL red zone.   All I have are CSS sports repeats, Saints t-shirts, and UGA hoodies to keep me warm and maintain the memories.  My fan gear will only get me so far before the reality that I will have to suffer through basketball season truly hits.

Football you allow me to be me, without you I am a shell of the woman I once was. You make it ok to eat chicken wings and drink beer without working out. You make it acceptable to plaster my car and body with paraphernalia. You make it culturally acceptable to yell at strangers and chant in crowds (WHO DAT!!!!). You make it ok to indoctrinate children and debate at the dinner table.  More importantly you connect  friends and fans (enemies too) of all races, creeds, and nationalities; giving me hope that this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed (thank you Dr. King for having a dream).

I just want to thank you for a few highlights that have me salivating for the 2013 - 2014 season:

1. Rev Ray – thank you for giving that man a Ring on his way out. Ray Lewis is an amazing player to watch and he will be missed. However, I am looking forward to his glorious career as a minister, public speaker, or life coach. I also look forward to his commentating and coverage because somebody is going to hire him to talk football and that my friends will be like going to Church every NFL Sunday. I plan to tithe and catch the Holy Ghost in the front row whenever he is on TV. Thank you Ray!
2. NFL Thanks you for Being a Fan - because of this commercial I am whole heartedly convinced that at some point in my near future a large box will show up on my door step and Miles Austin, Desean Jackson, or Braylon Edwards will jump out and take me on adventure. I hope my fiancé doesn’t hate on me (I will get autographs and be on my best behavior, pinky swear). 
3. Free at Last Free At Last Sean Payton is Free At Last - although he should have never been suspended in the first place thank you Football for reinstating my head coach. I am also thankful that players - Jonathan Vilma, Will Smith, Scott Fujita and Anthony Hargrove - had their bans overturned on appeal. Let’s move on from this and make a Bounty paper towel commercial about stains featuring the NFL and its bounty gate witch hunt.  I’m thinking super bowl debut.  
4. Replacement Refs are no more- I am just glad the paperwork was signed and that replacement refs have returned to their regular post at Buffalo Wild Wings. Everybody wins!
5. Loyal Dawgs – thank you Aaron Murray for planning to return for your senior season. The Bulldawg nation appreciates your loyalty and we look forward to you delivering the goods. If you decide to date Ms. Georgia beware that she will get more attention then you at the BCS National Championship Game.  Or you could just steal Ms. Alabama (we know you want too).
6. Any references to Manti Teo’s fake girlfriend. I enjoy a good catfish story like the rest of you.  The fact that his story has spawned catch phrases, twitter accounts, and comedic exploits makes me love it so much more. Thank you for replacing Tebowing (it was time).  Thank you for being the “scandal” to end the season. We all know your girlfriend turned off the lights at the Super Bowl Last night (he he he he) call Scooby and the gang a supernatural ghost is at work.  
7. SEC – high scoring, grown man football playing teams! Thank you for being the best conference EVER!!! Eventually, a day will come when an SEC school isn’t playing for a national title, but I plan to be rolling over in my grave by then.  We have won the last six BCS titles and that is all I have to say about that! I'm Proud to be a part of the SEC fan kingdom!!
8. BCS announces four-team playoff – we will see how this four-team playoff system in 2014 shakes out. I am reserving comment.  I have another year to mull it over before I make judgments…
9. NFL Draft - my money is on Leon Sandcastle. I do however look forward to seeing the who, where, and what that transpires at the draft.  The draft is the official merger of my passion for college football with my respect for the pros.  My heart and soul are in college football but watching players move on to the next level is joyful, plus it is a marker for the return of the sport I have grown to love!

Football, don’t forget what you are and what you do for people! You are AMAZING! My favorite sport, I salute you and mourn your absence all in one breath.  Can’t you be like year round school; small breaks in between to give us more time together. Don’t leave, baby come back!!!! I’m not sure what I will do without you but I’m counting down the days (205) until we meet again.

Faithful Fan and member of the Who Dat and Bulldawg Nations!

The seats may be empty but not for too long...
Photo: (© Csakisti |  Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos)

Columbus Day Weekend Special

The sky is literally falling this morning as they are doing repairs on our office building roof.  I am forced to work through what I can only describe as a construction site with equipment pounding, particulate matter falling from my ceiling, workers burling around and all that jazz.

As my office walls attempt to do an impression of a shake weight I realize it is post Columbus Day Tuesday.  Despite the construction and general tomfoolery and mayhem at work I’m in fun fall spirits. I haven’t blogged in a few days (I don’t work on holiday weekends anymore people) and I really missed you guys! But I am back with weekend randomness to share.

Columbus, Thief or Hero? - Many of you have often heard me refer to America as the greatest country ever stolen! Monday we celebrated Columbus Day in true American fashion by shutting down schools, banks, and government facilities. As the story goes, in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue and he eventually discovered the Americas; a land that had already been discovered and inhabited by Inuit and Native American people (those indigenous to the region). So we thank Columbus for rewriting history and finding what was already found but claiming it as newly discovered, thus beginning a universal bidding war for land and power ultimately leading to “freedom”. I am not sure Columbus is someone to celebrate in terms of his tactics but what he did was impressive. Consider that he lived 55 years back when life expectancy was much worse; he was able to survive multiple voyages (that’s what they called travel in old times); was able to coordinate 3 massive ships and the crews; manage and acquiring funding and still make a profit; write a few books, and completely negate the indigenous peoples and the discovery of the Americas by the Norse (11^th century folks) claiming the right for himself! Do you Columbus because that is true gangsta right there! Either way, I am thankful for not having to go to work one Monday every October!

Fall Favorites - fall is officially here because I was able to pull out tights and boots due to a much needed drop in temperature. I am soooo excited and I look forward to all it brings; Halloween, pumpkin gooey treats, and hot chocolate extravaganzas. This is my favorite time of year for so many reasons, most importantly the fashion which I love! Bring out the cable knit sweaters and knit hats please! Sign me up for knee high boots and cute stockings, put me in a turtle neck and wool skirt then send me on my merry way!  I also love fall for practical reasons including holidays that exclude me from work, warm beverages (hot toddies), the disappearance of mosquitos, snow days, minimized shaving of the legs (ladies know what I’m talking about), butternut squash soup, and the return of fall television.

Sad Bulldawg Saturday – my team lost this weekend. That’s all I can really say other than I still support them. This is not a season ending loss so I am not stressing it! Although it does make it difficult to face my non-UGA peers in the office but I will not shy away from confrontation or denounce my team for any reason.  I still bleed Red &Black and I’m ready to put the past (i.e. Saturday’s game that shall remain nameless) behind us…

Football Conundrum – my theory about the misalignment of my college and pro football teams was proven true this weekend. I think there is a causal relationship between the successes of one team that impacts the other.  When my college team wins my pro team loses and vice versa.  I want some sort of regression analysis done. The bad news I mentioned already but the good news is my Saints pulled out a W and Brees broke Johnny Unitas' record by throwing a touchdown pass in his 48^th consecutive game.  Congrats New Orleans and that win was much needed!  My other theory is that they only won because Coach was in proximity. We may need to consider sneaking him into games dressed as a mascot or something!

Fanship comes with great responsibility – over the weekend there were several stories of crazy fans gone awry. Primarily there was a story about the UGA QB having his house egged and rolled after the loss this weekend. An even bigger story was the KC Chiefs fans cheering the injury of their own quarterback.  I find it deplorable that people have eliminated a common regard for human decency and have forgotten players are people too.  Sure the media puts athletes on a pedestal but this game is meant to be celebrated and honored. Being a fan is about loyalty, illogical obsession, and contained hostility all in good fun! Fun being the word of importance! Never should you damage property, harm others, or lose your own integrity in the name of being a fan.  I was disappointed to see how far our society has come from the true spirit of sportsmanship. In true fall fashion remember the reason for the season people and behave yourselves.

Movies make the Difference- so I watched Chronicle this weekend and it was so much better than I expected. I feel bad I didn’t see it in a theater. Decent film about the dynamic nature of the human spirit and what happens when you give teens super powers! You already know…bad idea! Either way, I watched that film this weekend along with the Tall Man (a Jessica Biel straight to DVD film) and the both made me more socially aware. I learned to be nice to people, only kidnap children in poverty if your goal is to give them a better life, and always use surround sound! I really want to see Cloud Atlas and several other things so you can expect legitimate reviews in the future. 

Additional Random Thoughts – why are wings so compatible with football viewing? It’s so clever, simple and tasty!  It’s a perfect fit you know?! What would life be like if I got a real kitchen and could be the kitchen ninja master I am, in a proper setting (take that stove top fondue)! If I lived above a restaurant, I would never cook and would probably put on a lot of weight. Why are personal trainers and security guards so into me? What is the deal, do I emit pheromones specific to these professions? I need further research into this matter ASAP.  Why is my browser back button not working on my internet explorer? Seriously computer, stop being defiant and just go back to the previous screen! I really need to drink more water and consider working on my blog during weekend hours.

Happy Tuesday back in Reality People!