Catfish

I recently caught a glimpse of a new program called Catfish. It is a spinoff from a documentary about online dating.  Specifically a guy finds what he thinks is love with a woman online who turns out to be something-like-a-con-artist.  The show now helps people who “think” they are in online relationships find out if it’s real or if they are being played.

The episode I saw involved a woman looking for love in all the wrong places and finding “stability” and understanding in the love of her life, a guy named Scorpio! Really Scorpio! Any who, after 1 year of text and talking (but never meeting) she is thinking marriage.  She writes to MTV and says “I wanna meet him but every time we plan to get together he bails on me. He has only sent me 3 pictures of himself but they are HOT! He travels a lot (but apparently not to where you live) and he has 2 kids but I luv him, cause he doesn’t judge me, please help me”!

Of course MTV can help her and in comes the camera crew to the rescue.  After a basic Google search (really you didn’t even Google him) they find out he can’t be who he says he is. Well, Carmel Apple Lollipop, or whatever your stripper name was, did you ever stop to think that maybe he doesn’t judge you for being a dancer because he is a liar? Did you even once consider that it is bizarre for a man to carry on a relationship (I use that term very loosely) and never video chat you, send you more than 3 pictures, or actually come and see you?  Have you ever actually used the internet? Because clearly you can image search, Google search, and reverse phone look-up.  Why are you shocked he is 32 and not 27 like he claimed, a father of 4 (not 2) that lives in MD and not Atlanta.  Why are you surprised he doesn’t look like his photo? It is because it wasn't his photo? You knew better! Haven’t you ever seen to Catch a Predator? The internet is full of lies people, that’s why the news warns you to be careful.  Listen honey boo boo, somebody will love you but carrying on a fake relationship in your head isn’t the start of a marriage made in heaven.

I know we are in an age of technology so we have begun to integrate it into natural behaviors and breeding practices. For animals mating methods vary from random mating, to disassortative or assortative mating (seeking those opposite or homogenous to you), or to criteria based versions of evolutionary computation. It all serves one ultimate purpose, which is procreation, but human practice has evolved to more complex methods including artificial insemination. Allowing us to focus our hearts and brains on finding true love. Somehow, that quest for love has moved beyond the biological and into computer-mediated mating which is 50 shades of wrong.

 

Logic is apparently thrown out the window when people soul search through an Intel® Core™ i3 processor so I ‘m offering some helpful tips. Here are some warning signs that you are in a fake online relationship that will likely impede your biological and psychological ability to find love (aka make babies). 

Red flags to consider and other helpful hints for Online Mating:

·         Pictionary- a picture speaks a thousand words or sometimes it just speaks one, FAKE! If your online partner rarely sends you photos or sends photos with him/her alone in the classic bathroom pic doing the same pose every time  then you may have a problem. Do a Google images search; he/she may be pirating images from others or lying about their physical appearance. Even people that hate taking photos have photos. Unless he/she is a serial killer or assassin, they should have a mix of recent pictures with friends, or from vacation, or the holidays. Time stamped, season appropriate photos are a necessity for validating identity and proof of life.

·         Skype/Facetime/Video chat- if your pen pal refuses to make real time contact with the free apps at his/her disposal then you are likely dating a charlatan.  The excuse I’m not good with technology is absolutely impossible for anybody if they are in an online relationship. You are in a computer based, internet dependent interaction you have to have enough tech savvy to do that so you can video chat too.

·         Specific timelines – in the regular world the guy that can only talk to you between 3pm -6pm or only on weekends or during the lunch hour is likely married. The same is true for online dating. If the person has scheduled you in at a specific time and only talks to you on their mobile FB app something else maybe going on. Real people with nothing to hide have sporadic lives so communication should reflect that.

·         Ask real questions – don’t wait for people to share. If something sounds suspicious ask clarifying questions. That is the beauty of online relationships you have to ask questions because you can’t see reactions, you also get a nifty transcript so you can connect the dots.  You want to learn about this person and their past experiences. Be sure to be specific, not just asking how old are you but what year were you born.  Ask the real questions like have you ever been convicted of a crime, who did you vote for, what is your foreign policy, can I have your social security number for a background check?

·         Silent Treatment- if after feverish message exchange and talking your online love drops off the face of the earth perhaps hell is freezing over or just maybe they found someone else. Sure they could have had an emergency that took them away for 2-3 months but in real relationships you discuss those things with the person you love.

·         Meet and Greet- stalling the meeting is a classic red flag. Anybody that into you is looking forward to meeting you in person! If they avoid it at all costs they are probably lying about something, so be careful.  You have to question motives when somebody won’t meet you in person. You also have to question their existence. On the opposite end of the spectrum you have to watch out for killers, the person too eager to meet you is a danger too.  Smart single women have rules that all should abide by; always meet in a public place, drive yourself, see his license to verify first and last name, only bring him to your house after he has met friends that could identify him at a trial, always tell a friend where you are going and what time you will return (check-in), and carry mace. 

·         Heed the Profile - a profile says a lot about a person including if they can copy and paste.  A profile is supposed to be unique, customizable and should contain some biographical information and details about what you're looking for in a potential mate.  Beware of Cliché users, those claiming to be real, the phrase “I hate drama”, or over sharing information. People don’t actually put their salary in a profile, its showboating; those that only show off their body are likely vain; anybody with a list of preferences 2 pages long is likely picky and unrealistic; and those that uses text language for words and not short hand are immature or illiterate.  Usernames are another indicator of crazy or level of maturity; ILUV_69 is probably an idiot or doesn’t have a real job.

·         Online Pros – if he/she has multiple user accounts on multiple sites they might be an addict, unemployed (who has time for all that), or a scammer.  Sure some of us professional folks have a work and personal Facebook account. But if he/she has like 3 profiles each on Facebook, Twitter, Match, and tons of other dating sites you should type with one eye open. The serial online dater is real; these are the folks that habitually have online relationships with multiple people. It’s like a boyfriend with 2 or 3 cell phones, there is a double life happening there and it’s not that he is a spy. The only thing he is spying on is home-girl’s cookies.

Ultimately one should use common sense. The computer should be a support function not a primary relationship building mechanism. I’m not saying online dating services or Match.com commercials are wrong, I’m saying they are a function of technology and evolution and they can’t replace your good ole fashion basic instincts and biological predilections. You have to interact with people; release endorphins together, swap DNA, asses physical features, smell sweat, learn genetic characteristics, and you know, be human animals together.

Our Future...Robot Love!

Recap Weekends and Toothpaste

The joke is certainly on me this morning as I return to work!  I clearly have already forgotten my breakfast but managed to fill my lunch box with bags and bags of animal crackers and teddy grahams. A sleep deprived oversight this morning; I’m not sure why I even had those items in my pantry. I’m going to gloss over the fact that it is freezing outside (literally my car notifications indicated ICY)! On my drive to work my gas light comes on which means sometime today I will need to fill up again making this the 3^rd time in a 1.5 weeks!!!!  I arrive at the office to find they have converted two floors in our parking deck (the good floors 1 and 2) into carpool parking. Excuse me but people don’t carpool anymore, don’t reward them for that (they get to go halfsies on gas that’s reward enough)…seriously, I would have preferred handicap parking to this!  To add insult to injury, I left my work tote with all my notebooks and projects at home in my dining room. I also forgot my new computer password; I blame the system for making me change it every XX days and not letting me use real words, forcing my character limit, and making me add numbers! You suck Monday in case you didn’t know!

So here is the Monday recap of my Holiday weekend:

A Christmas Carol – Happy Birthday to my Mom and Happy Anniversary to my parents! All transpired this weekend! I gifted my mom some tickets to the Alliance Theatre performance of A Christmas Carol!  A wonderful show with some amazing talent! I thoroughly enjoyed myself despite being the back-up guest. Scene:

LC:       Happy Birthday Mom! I tried to pick a date when I figured you wouldn’t be off work!

Mom: (READS CARD, OPENS TICKETS) How nice. Thanks. I hate the Alliance Theatre, the seats are too close together and it hurts my knees. But that was thoughtful. When is the show?

LC:       Sunday at 2:30. If you don’t want to go I can get you something else. Really, you couldn’t just go with thank you and let that be that. Lie to me mom!

Mom: Sunday I have to hostess at church.

LC:       So you aren’t going?!

Mom:   I might go, I will invite Jerry, she may not have to work on Sunday, and I’ll ask her.

LC:       So I give you two tickets to a play, not only do you bash the theatre and proceed to tell me you may not go, if you do go you aren’t even going to invite me to attend with you? (TURNING TO MY COUSIN) Can you believe this s@#!?  I wasn’t even the number one choice; she could have at least asked me if I wanted to join her. This is what I have to deal with!

Mom: I mean you can go if Jerry isn’t available.

LC:       (SMH) I’m going to eat a piece of cake…

Saturday evening at 8:00pm I get a call that Jerry can’t make it, SO lucky me I was invited.  It was a fabulous show but my mother is going to have to earn her way back into my good graces! Cash always works, I can be bought!

Luxury Movie Watching - AMC at Phipps Plaza has earned my love and ultimate affection. They have renovated their movie theater allowing you to select your seats at time of purchase, revamping their concession stand and installing reclining, leather, adjustable chairs. It was so fancy I thought they charged me extra! To my surprise my regular $11 ticket was worth it.  No getting up to let people in the isle, no sharing an arm rest, and no feet kicking the back of my chair.  In true comfort and style, I enjoyed the final installment of Twillight. Don’t judge me, I read the books and my inner tween was happy! Dear movie makers, for the record, never use a digitally enhanced baby…it looks sooo stupid!

Midnight Madness – all I can say about Black Friday is this, Macy’s if you issue coupons that can’t be used on anything, why bother issuing them at all? Yes I went shopping at Midnight (at Lenox) and I wasn’t all that impressed! Today being cyber Monday I hope to make up for lost joy.

Dr. Who? – so I participated in a self-imposed Dr. Who marathon and in my best British accent made it through another wonderful season.  This week, I will take a break to catch up on Hex but I will start season 4 of Dr. Who soon. I love this show and BBC as a whole. My inner nerd is so excited!!!!

“Daleks do not fear, must not fear. EXTERMINATE!”

UGA beats GA Tech! – While many of the students at GA Tech are probably all too familiar with Dr. Who (nerds unite) what they aren’t familiar with is football. Another GA victory and we are ready battle Bama in the dome!  Win or lose, Notre Dame is not ready for an SEC team!!! 

Christmas is Here – thanks shopping venues and radio stations for starting the Christmas music early. My holiday and tree trimming starts December 1 so this week of forced exposure to Christmas is going to be painful. I will not be a part of this mass movement to start Christmas early; you can’t make me hallmark!  December 1 – December 31 (that’s it); tree goes up, cards are mailed, songs or sung, halls are decked, gifts exchanged, blessing are counted, Die Hard is watched and then it stops and I return to my regularly scheduled programs. 31 days no more, no less!

There you have it, the recap is complete! Events and growling stomach aside, I’m here prepared to bust a work move!  I had dreams of business and work projects (they kept waking me up) so the stress is officially back on!  Bring it suckas!!! Happy Monday!

PS: Happy Birthday to my brother from another mother but similar (not the same) father! Enjoy your day BC!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I hope you are spending this day surrounded by friends, family, and fellowship!  Today is the day when you stuff your face because you haven’t eaten in a week as preparation (so your starving)! Today is the day when you are forced to spend time with your family and try not to upset the delicate balance of sanity that you have spent all year building. Today is the day!!!!

I have expressed my thanks and appreciation for my friends and family but today is the day I'm supposed to tell them to their faces (or via text message) according to my calendar!   I love my peeps even the ones I share DNA with so THANK YOU ALL!!!!

Here are some things I’m thankful for this year, other than my already mentioned support system known as “da friends and family” 

• God’s love and grace
• A working blackberry
• Anderson Cooper (I’m sad his show was cancelled even though I don’t watch it)
• Another Obama 4 years
• Babies and weddings of 2012
• Compassion from others
• Facetime (the application and the true meaning of the word)
• Financial stability
• GA football (Bulldogs…not the Falcons) – especially that win over FL!
• Health insurance
• Joe Jeans
• Leaps of faith
• Meeting new people
• Migraine medication (the benefits of modern science as a whole)
• My iPad
• My Job and not being at it today
• My massage envy membership
• Netflix
• New running shoes
• The smell of baked goods and 90 calorie brownies
• Tax Depot
• Rewards points
• Words with Friends, Taboo, and Oregon Trail 
• Life…

Those are just a few things off the top of my head. Now I have to pick up my grandmother and head to family dinner! Enjoy the holiday folks! 

Pre-Thanksgiving Thoughts

Happy Hump Day peeps! As I enjoy the pre-holiday silence in the office this morning I’m eating my Chocolate Chip Clif Bar wishing it was already 3:00pm so I could go home. While I wait for the next 7 hours to go by, I had some early morning thoughts I wanted to share as we prepare to go into Thanksgiving!

Production - I am so much more productive early in the morning. Once lunchtime rolls around I’m a waste. I’ll admit it I’m a morning producer! The only thing I can’t figure out is why I can’t workout in the morning. I feel like it’s not working in the sense of accomplishing tasks so it’s hard for me to be motivated in the morning to do so! Kudos to all you early morning workout fiends; I salute you gym rats and all that you stand for!

Healthy Living- Thanksgiving is not a holiday for the health conscious but I’m a rebel without a cause so I am going to make it work! Healthy sides and vegetarian style meals for some (not all because my family would kill me)! But I am going make it a point this year to use self-restraint and good judgment. Remember people it is a marathon not a race and the food is here all week long!!!!

Homeward Bound - I really need a house so I can get a dog! More puppies in my email this morning! Pretty sure I’m an advertising executive’s wet dream. I see and I want, it’s that simple. Unfortunately for companies I now believe in shopping ceilings and often limit my expenses. I try to live like a college student despite being fully employed. Some call it frugal but I call it fiscally responsible adulthood.  A penny saved is a penny you can spend on things for your house (like a Smart TV and furniture)! 

Travel - Holiday travel is the WORST! That is all I can really say about that! Be safe those of you traveling for Turkey Day!

Turkeyology - What do Turkeys really think about this holiday? Do they recognize that many of their brethren have died in the war on Turkeys known as Thanksgiving?  Do they tremble in fear when the leaves change to orange and the pumpkins crop up because they know that it’s only a matter of time before they depart this earth and end up stuffed on a table? I bet they are plotting an uprising. This holiday be sure to pour out a little spiced punch or apple cider for the Turkey Homies that have gone to that Butterball factory in the sky! I will enjoy a turkey leg in honor of your sacrifice fair fowls, thank you for your service, Now Get in my Belly!

Black Friday – the love-hate relationship I have with black Friday continues this year. In my early twenties it was the thrill of midnight madness sales that made it all worth it.  Nap until Thanksgiving Dinner then redbull and vodka my way to late night deals at the outlet malls! I was able to get good deals during my prime hours of operation. Ah memories…Me and my shopping partners living the savings dream and counting extreme shopping as exercise! Now the thought of being up past midnight gives me anxiety, and all those people and all that rudeness makes me want to carry a small weapon (just in case things get out of hand).  I worked enough retail to know that Black Friday is evil and shouldn’t exist.  But now as a consumer the doorbuster deals are enticing, but I am still unsure! I have made a list, should I decide to participate in the madness this year; my all black everything ensemble is ready and my knife is on standby (just in case).  Shopping ninja-gangsta!

Hours of Operation - All these stores opening on Thanksgiving is a travesty. As a retail employee you look forward to the days you actually get off work without having to request it. Stores are opening earlier and earlier on Thursday (some at 6pm or 8pm). Sure for some having compressed time with your family is cool but Holidays are sacred and nothing should be open, except Wal-Mart. It is written in the prophecy; Thou shalt always have access to Wal-Mart…

So remember retail friends, it’s your company to blame for you being at work not me.  And watch your tone…I have a knife!

Drinking Etiquette - When is it appropriate as a child to get shit-faced in front of your parents? My family is pretty entertaining but alcohol would make it so much more hilarious. Alas, I don’t really drink in front of my parents. Sure the occasional beer or half glass of wine but that is all.  I often reserve my drinking for special occasions or Friday nights!  As an almost 30 something I’m still slightly uncomfortable being drunk in my parents’ house. I wonder if that ever becomes comfortable…do people do it?! When is it age appropriate to be drunk at Thanksgiving (question not intended for the already drunk alcoholic family member many of us have)?

Thanksgiving is coming people prepare your waistline and strap down your sanity! Talk to you tomorrow, prior to the food coma of course! 

Certificate of Appreciation

As we move forward in this season of Thanks, I want people to receive and more importantly give appreciation. Yeah I said it! I’m tired of always showing my thanks for people or being the bigger person, mending the fences, helping the masses.  Sometimes I want a day off! Those that take care of others, occasionally like for people to take care of them! The last few weeks I have wanted something special so I’m treating myself to a massage on Friday.  But sometimes you want appreciation from others…certificates work when cash is not an option.

*Stepping on soap box* some of us need tender loving care and special gestures to reinvigorate our moods and remind us that all is not in vain. In order for me to not lose my mind, sometimes I don’t want to decide a movie, or what’s for dinner, or anything remotely related to being responsible.  Cheap Kroger flowers, 99 cent cards and a cupcake from your favorite bakery can go a really long way!  Here is your PSA, do special things for those you love even the simple, cheap, and free kind. One day I would love to wake up or come home to my dishes being put away, or my laundry folded, or my favorite meal sitting on the table. It would make me feel like a million dollars to have a back rub or a warm bath bubble bath offered up without me thinking about it.  I’m going to move out of the realm of partners and into the reality of everyday relationships; Say Thank you to people that help you out, or listen, or take time (burden hours) to accomplish goals for you. Thank you, hugs, handshakes, and food bribes can make a difference in anyone’s world.

I try to make an effort to thank people. Thank you for sending me that email, thank you for asking that stupid question, thank you for reminding me of that annoying fact, thank you for doing me a huge favor, thank you for being around, thank you for all you do! I try to show my appreciation with food (purchased or homemade meals), laughter, gifting when and what is needed, using my words with verbal acknowledgements, tending to personal tasks so you don’t have to, and much more.  I truly try to show my thanks but I know it isn’t always recognized or received. Doesn’t mean I stop doing it. We all need to be reminded that we are appreciated and valued!

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows, Your name.

For those of us that are an all-expense paid trip to the land of independence, we need delight and gratitude too.  It can be hard for Type-A personalities to slow down but what really makes things skittles and rainbows for an over scheduled person is aid! Not first-aid because that takes up valuable time (krazy glue can close wounds if you are pressed for time or have warrants out); actual assistance does make things better.  I don’t need people to buy me expensive presents, although I won’t turn them down, I would prefer help.  People like me don’t ask for help (the Land of Independence remember) but we still need it. And yes I’m painting appreciation with a broad but help focused brush but it is my blog and I can do what I want to. I’m not sure what I would do with help…If somebody would occasionally clean my kitchen, gas up my car, grab my mail, supply me with V8 Fusion energy drinks, not need anything from me for like 10 minutes or 2 days, silence in a world full of noise, and so much more. I would appreciate help if given!!!! 

Appreciation or affection can be shown in many ways and to be truly genuine will differ from person to person.  Some people like grand gestures, some like thoughtfulness, others like alcohol and greasy foods. The point is helping people can be simple or complex way to show thanks and is something great to do not just at Thanksgiving but year round.

To all the people in my life that help me and listen to me, I say THANK YOU!  I have been feeling a bit disconnected from my friends recently but I have not lost focus of the many things you do to support me! Including but not limited to the following:

·         Awarding me a certificate for Jerkdom

·         Being cool with sweat pants and red soccer socks as a fashion ensemble

·         Building websites

·         Calling me after 10am on Saturdays

·         Calling to check in when you know I screen my calls (all the time)

·         Congratulating my football teams on wins

·         Dressing up and making Halloween costumes

·         General apartment maintenance (plumbing included)

·         Giving me computer and business advice

·         Giving me toll booth change

·         Hosting Dinners and game nights

·         Ignoring my inappropriate outbursts

·         Knowing where the bodies are buried and keeping it to yourself

·         Laughing at my jokes

·         Letting me decline participating in fantasy football every year

·         Letting me preview pictures prior to posting to social media sites

·         Liking my posts on Facebook

·         Not leaving voicemails because you know I won’t listen to them

·         Not correcting my egregious spelling and grammar errors

·         Picking up the tab

·         Riding Marta to Lindbergh so I don’t have to pick you up from the airport

·         Sending me funny links that make me LOL (literally)

·         Sharing my blog with others / Entertaining the fact that I write a blog

·         Staying away when you are sick

·         Taking out my trash

·         Traveling with me and/or inviting me to travel

·         Understanding why I don’t turn my heat on

·         Using Google Drives to organize things

·         Wishing me and my family well

·         Praying for my happiness and success and so much more

For your consideration: I could do without the chain letters (via email and text), invitations to Farmville, request for money, and reprimand for being busy but not elusive.

Regardless, I say thank you for being a friend…

Travel down the road and back again.

Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant.

And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew.

You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say,

Thank you for being a friend.

Road Trip (What If Friday)

Happy Friday Gang! It is 4:37am...and we are playing What If Friday but this time our question is an original!

Question: What if you were headed to New Orleans, LA on a road trip with your dad; in a car together for 7.5 hours?

Answer: I will let you know how it goes because it is currently in progress and it's way to early for blogging.

Enjoy your day and your weekend!

Even GPS can't save us! 

Viva la Revolucion

This morning my mind feels like swiss cheese (a side effect of migraine medication). I have been having significantly more migraines than normal and my guess is my body is plotting some sort of uprising. I promised you more blog structure than yesterday so here goes... This morning’s blog will focus on rebellions and revolutions in honor of my impending demise!Those of us that went to public school are probably not as familiar with uprisings and revolutions mainly because in our day history was often taught by a football coach with no real knowledge of the subject (hey you get what you pay for). But as a lover of knowledge and someone that received an A+ in her college history classes, I was interested in some of history’s great revolutions. I’m going to breakdown some of my favorites:

American Revolution (1763 – 1776 and beyond) – after the Seven Years War ended, Britain decided to get greedy and increase taxes on North American Colonies, flexing their authoritative muscle with new laws. We all know Americans hate taxes so some guys got together and decided to elect official representatives and fight for their right to make their own illegitimate laws and self-imposed rights.  So 13 colonies banded together, mobilized militias, and went to war!   Ah can you smell the American enlightenment? Well it stretched across decades eventually giving birth to the United States and some classic historical moments. Think about it people republicanism was born during this time!  Common Sense was written, the phrase “No taxation without Representation” was uttered from the mouths of babes. You have the Boston Tea Party, which had to smell some kind of way (tea + dirty water = stink), the American Revolutionary War and the Declaration of Independence (which really only applied to white males)!  Such an important time in history and all I can think is I’m glad I wasn’t there, let’s be real the average life expectancy was like 35 years old, throw in the fact I’m a black female and you can cut that down to like 22. I probably would already be dead from child birth or smallpox. But a fascinating era just the same!

Greek Revolution against the Ottoman Empire (1821-1829) – the Greeks history has always fascinated me because of their rich ideologies. So the Greek War of Independence is definitely on my list. We know the Byzantine Empire fell to the Ottomans in 1453 but after centuries of Ottoman rule the Greeks declared no more, out damn Turks…get out! There were many failed attempts but eventually the underdog did it with the help of the British, French, and Russians.  A civilization so rich with intellectuals and humanists was being stifled and wanted the right to be influenced by other super powers. I lived in Turkey for a short while so this intrigues me on multiple levels.  I have also traveled to Greece and seen the aftermath from ancient Greek worship to reconstructionism to modern day freedoms. Does anybody know how to get to Constantinople (I do)!

French Revolution (1789 – 1799) – As a Catholic and a thrice removed French national this is kind of my history.  It’s only right that I include such an impactful era of political and social upheaval on my list. We can all appreciate resistance against monarchy, aristocracy, and religious authority! King Louis XVI or Marie Antoinette were infamous poor decision makers, their love for power and sense of entitlement ultimately created discontent in the impoverished and underserved! We want equality and we want it now!  And the French got it by marching on Versailles, storming Bastille and instituting the Reign of Terror! The French did revolution the bloody way with extreme violence and guillotines! So kudos to you Maximilien Robespierre your death was not in vain!  You forged the way so little people like Napoleon could start wars and Hugh Jackman could have work in Les Misérables. Without this Revolution I wouldn’t have learned that stealing bread gets you 20 to life or that the French were so musically talented!

Glorious Revolution (1688) - I love it when Kings are overthrown; so King James II (of England) welcome to my list of revolutions. This not so “Bloodless Revolution” permanently ended any chance of Catholicism becoming re-established in England. Sorry British Catholics, welcome to being social and political pariah. Ushering in change, the Glorious Revolution led to the beginning of modern English parliamentary democracy! Shaping a country that has brought us many great things including everything Royal Family, Dr. Who (syfy nerd for life), the English Bill of Rights, the original William and Mary (dynamic duo of Protestant rule), and the Tudors (one of my favorite tv shows not at all directly related to the Glorious Revolution).

Bacon's Rebellion (aka Virginia Rebellion of 1676) –this is obviously on the list because Bacon is in the title.  Noted as the first rebellion in the American colonies, this was an uprising in Virginia, led by a planter by the name of Nathaniel Bacon! Back when Virginia was the place to be they had a Native American problem. This was likely caused by the fact that they stole land from these original inhabitants but that is neither here nor there! 1000 Virginians rose up in arms against the rule of Governor William Berkeley because he refused to retaliate for a series of Indian attacks on frontier settlements. Enter Bacon, not just a tasty breakfast treat and you have conflict and a historical uprising. What resulted was the return of the governor to England! Virginians were unable to drive out all the Native Americans living on the land they were stealing but they did set precedent for political change! Thus begins my appreciation for bacon and solidified love of irony; VA is not for Lovers it’s for hate mongers and radicals.

I purposely didn’t include the Civil Rights movements or the Women’s rights movements because those histories are still being written; uprisings are still occurring in those revolutions so I will save that for history teachers in the next century to discuss.   I hope you have enjoyed this random history lesson!  You can thank Political Science, AP US History, AM History to 1865, and American Government for this trip down memory lane.  Happy Thursday!

Wise Owl?

Is it budget cuts or technological error, either way the office phones aren’t working? Whatever the cause, I now have some unexpected downtime to blog about my morning thoughts.  This is a typical Wednesday. I’m in an unauthorized holding pattern waiting for news of my weekend travel. I may be going on a road trip with my dad to New Orleans on Friday. He just called to tell me we still don’t know what we already didn’t know. As you can see there is a lot of ambiguity!

I also just learned a little chemistry, i.e. what chemical bonds are via a YouTube dog video! Science can be cute really: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_M9khs87xQ8 

Aside from the general prioritization of my day and planning my potential time out of the office, I have a lot of other absolutely random things on my mind:

·         I’m excited to decorate my Christmas tree in 17 days!!! December 1^st can’t come soon enough. I just can’t believe it’s almost Christmas!!!

·         Do I have enough gas to make it to KBs, my parents, and work from now until Friday?

·         If someone you don’t know grabs your behind while you are standing in line for a movie what do you do? SVU has taught me it’s inappropriate to stab perverse people in the throat, so then what? I had a dream about so it’s on my mind…

·         Really its 2012 are we talking about secession? These 30 states talking crazy see if you make it on your own.  This is why Europeans think Americans are foolish! Secession isn’t American just because it happened in our history. If that is the case then slavery is American and hurricanes are American. Besides it’s not like the USA cheated on you with China. Go live in a third world country then come back and tell me that having a Black president is the worst thing that could happen…

·         When are the activists going to get upset that the Muppet master for Elmo is gay? We all know it’s coming.  Despite the allegations of sex with a minor being dropped (silence is profitable) I’m sure they overly concerned parent Nazis out there are going to have a problem with Elmo’s infatuation with men.  If you can’t make the charges stick lets crucify his sexual orientation it’s Americans like secession. Leave that man alone (unless he is a child molester which is bad);  who else could pretend to be a giant red 3 year old for 10 years and not be a little different.

·         How are craisins made? Inquiring minds want to know. More importantly why doesn’t Office 2010 recognize that as a real word?

·         Where have all the cowboys gone? Are they in Canada since we once again have a black president?

·         How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop for an aardvark?

·         Why is it you always want Chick-fil-A on Sunday even if you are like me and don’t even like chicken sandwiches? And why isn’t their mascot a chicken that says "eat me"!!!!

·         Why does my knee hurt? I haven’t bumped into anything today or yesterday.  Does it need WD-40? Does that even work on human joints?

·         Who stole the Cookie from the cookie Jar? If it wasn’t me and not you, than who?  

·         At some point I’m going to get back in the gym!

I’m not a wise owl but I am a thoughtful lady! Thanks all for now folks. I promise to try to have some more structure tomorrow.  Happy Hump Day!