Olympic Excellence

Yesterday I was home sick watching the Olympics, meaning I was too distracted to blog! Today I am back in action and the random thoughts for this blog will be a two for one special.  I plan to recap my crazy, stupid, love filled weekend and discuss a few thoughts I had on the Olympics in true fashion.

My Olympic winning weekend consisted of various events:  synchronized dating, artistic gaming, free style drinking, Marathon Sleeping, and Sprint Gifting! My top three moments are detailed (play-by-play) below with highlights of the random variety.

Bronze – Synchronized dating was a strong event this weekend.  I had a wonderful date on Friday night with a nice guy I know. I was able to see Batman for the second time, ate sushi, and laughed! PS: the Japanese Birthday song brings me a special kind of Joy.  Then on Saturday I went out for goodbye drinks with some of my favorite folks at Loca Luna.  I had mojitos, recognized some college neighbors, over ate and spent some time with some amazingly fun drunks.  Safe travels Rocky and company.  Sunday I was able to partake in birthday game night! Let me just point out that nobody really likes Dance Central on xbox connect (especially while drinking), Pizza hut is the worst in terms of time management, you move from your spot you lose it, yes I bring my own TV dinners to events, L steals candy and shares it #teamdirector, and everybody (all the males) clearly want my panties (that makes me right not arrogant). LMAO I had such a great time with such a fun crew it was only my bronze moment by default.

Silver – Sprint Gifting concluded with the ultimate gag gift which I gave to My buddy T. His birthday was this weekend (go Leos) and he had a pretty lengthy gift list which included Hookers, Strippers, Air Force Ones, Bentley, Money, Copy of the Wire, Sweets, Food, STD Vaccine, and a cure for the common cold. In classic fashion I worked hard to give him everything he asked for and then some.

·         Hookers = hanging hooks

·         Strippers = Listerine Breath strips

·         Air Force Ones = one Air Wick Air Freshener (May the force be with you)

·         Bentley = Match box car (hot wheels)

·         Money = play money (monopoly dollar bills y’all)

·         The Wire = actual wire for hanging paintings

·         Sweets = Sweet Tarts

·         Food = BBQ potato chips (yummy)

·         Cure for the Common Cold = Mucinex

·         STD Vaccine = Condoms (STD protection he can use)

I think I out did myself and I also threw in a card! Happy Birthday T-Money!!!!!

Gold – my gold medal moment may surprise some folks but this isn’t about you! So a certain ex of mine with happiness radar has resurfaced. How he knew I was on the precipice of a dating dive into the water is beyond me. I’m going to chalk it up to psychic powers. Either way, he is back in the mix and we talked extensively about where we went wrong and what can be done to fix it.   Some people are like your kryptonite. They are the Chinese in gymnastics, or the Jamaicans in track and field. They leave an imprint (good, bad, or ugly) and  blow other competition out of the water (extraordinary to you).  Some people get you, understand you, and know where you have buried the bodies! Sometimes you have to take a break and grow to figure out where to go (yes that rhymes, I know). All those clichés and yes I know I probably shouldn’t but you people have to believe in me and my choices I have to do this for me! So welcome back homie/lover/friend let’s see what happens (to hell with the consequences)!

Also in my Gold Medal category is the Atlanta arrival of my ace boon coon Kels! So excited that the Shake to my Bake, the Walker to my Texas Ranger, the baby infant to my Jesus…is back in town! I see margaritas, triple sec, and cropped pants in my immediate future!

Aside from that, I did drink a lot of wine! I watched the Olympics which included men’s gymnastics (yes please), women’s volleyball, diving, archery, air rifle, and table tennis.  Why archery, air rifle, and table tennis you ask! Well, blame NBC for not properly labeling the various shows.  If my TV guide says soccer I expect soccer not table tennis. If you say its beach volleyball, air rifle should never come across my screen!  Don’t make me download the app NBC, just play what you advertised!  Other than that I am so Team USA it’s ridiculous mainly because the Chinese are scary. I just envision their entire Athletic community chained up in some shady gym facility practicing until their feet bleed; living off of white rice and vegetable dumplings.  I was raised in the south, so I’m anti-communist and pro-ignorance. I am also pro-American and anything where round metallic objects are awarded for excellence in sports!

I will be watching a lot more of the London Olympics 2012 the remainder of this week and theorizing on what I think is a conspiracy for the majority of Great Britain wins. Really a gymnastics medal….when has that ever happened for the UK?!

What If Friday - Weaponry

I was on a quest for a Friday blog theme and stumbled upon one of my favorite books and party games, If (Questions for the Game of Life).  Since it is Friday, I’m yet again posed with another question.  Remember, my goal is to bring fantasy, invoke thought, and encourage randomness all at the same time.  I always welcome the comments and answers of others. So feel free to play along.

Question:        If you had to constantly carry a weapon of some kind, what would it be?

So today’s question is a violent one but I will tackle it just the same!  My answer to this might surprise people. Those who know me are well versed in my affection for close combat and knives, shanks more specifically!  Do I have experience with them, NO; have I watched a ton of Oz and Locked Up to believe I’m an expert in crafting and wielding the weapon, YES!

But for practical reasons that is not my answer.  If I could carry a weapon of some kind it would be a crossbow!  Why a crossbow you ask? Well in today’s society overrun with vampires, werewolves and zombies addicted to bath salts, I need something long range yet effective. I don’t want to be over powered in hand-to-hand combat or have my face eaten off by a confused junkie!  I want to live damnit! 

Then if you consider the other benefits which I have listed below you will truly understand the awesomeness that is the crossbow!

Benefits to carrying a crossbow:

• Ability to communicate (I can attach messages to my arrows and send them like carrier pigeons should we lose all communication devices in an apocalypse)
• Ability to make my own ammunition if living in post-apocalyptic USA
• Accuracy and top-of-the-line optics
• Convenient for hunting (food or zombies)
• Developing Angela Bassett arms from the loading process
• Effective against opponents wearing plate armor
• Hunger Games Chic
• Impaling things is cool
• Much like a ride it can be pimped - Colors, cases, scopes, bolts, and heat seeking arrows (I’m sure those exist somewhere)
• Quiet kills (guns alert people and zombies to where you are)
• Recyclable ammunition (which makes my weapon Green and mother earth friendly)
• Short range and long range capability
• Speed and impact without strength (force and velocity without upper body strength is important)

This list of benefits could go on and on but you get my point!  I need to add crossbow to my birthday gift list!  However, to cover all my bases I will form a small legion of fighters and have each one carry a different weapon and specialize in various marital arts techniques. Think Street Fighter/DOA/Tekken but with more Kumbaya! 

Happy Weapon Carrying Friday to You All!

The Heart of the Matter (Love)

Now that I have had a good night’s sleep I’m back to having random thoughts. I had so much on my mind this morning most of it related to the Wizard of Oz. Don’t ask why people, it never makes sense! But I’m in a romantic and whimsical mood this morning and I was thinking about what makes people extraordinary.  What makes them loveable?

I have been listening to a great deal of India Arie and Musiq Soulchild today and Neo-Soul has a way of making you hate love and want to be in it at the same damn time. And the artists of the movement paint a very simplistic (but relatable) view of the significant other.  Opposite of the white knights and princess images we are bombarded with in childhood fiction and romantic comedies.  The overly extraordinary lover! But isn’t all LOVE extraordinary? That’s the point, love makes the impossible possible, it transforms the peasant farmer into the King; the bar maid can become a beautiful princess.  Love is the filter that often makes the ordinary extraordinary.  

I think about my past loves and there is a lot about them that could be defined as ordinary but I saw deeper. I peeled back layers and got to see a side of them that many people never saw. That’s what made them special to me, the things I saw through filtered glasses.  I know that filtering also glosses over the bad shit but let’s dwell on the positive you Debbie Downers!

I retweeted an Uber Fact the other day that stated: Scientists suggest that the average person will fall in love seven times before they get married.

I don’t take stock in twitter and I know everything I read isn’t true even if I get it from Wikipedia. But it made me think as many things do! I thought 7 times is a lot of lovin to get to the ultimate love. But is that ultimate love so finite. Isn’t it just finding that extraordinary person (to you) that your love for allows you to transform feelings of selfishness and freedom into selflessness and permanency.  That happens more than once for some or just the one time for others! My opinion is that it is pretty simple! Its life that is complicated not love… Loving is the easy part. Staying and working through the hard times is the complication.   

With that in mind, every now and again you come across a person that is extraordinary before the love. Those are the people that fascinate me. Some people are stars that shine brighter than others; people that resonate with you in such a way that makes you want to love them or at least be around them.  Some people can have an effect on you that leaves a lasting scar much like being impaled with a fishing spear would. Those rare souls that live on this earth to remind us what the stars are like. What makes them extraordinary is their spirit!

The problem with the “good” extraordinary folks is a lot of people love them. You might even say they are easy to fall in love with but history implies they may often be difficult to love.  I think these magnetic people just have to work harder at finding love. I mean how many other extraordinary people are out there to procreate with?!  We regular folks are looking for other regular folks that have elements of extraordinary to shed light on our ordinary being. For some of us that means superhero powers including the ability to read minds. Others might search for silly things like acceptance and understanding. Blah I want an endoskeleton fused with adamantium…Team Wolverine!   Whatever you are looking for or have been lucky enough to find, I hope the love shines light on the extraordinary.

Love is magical indeed and despite all I have been through I look forward to experiencing it again.  Now that is off my chest, I will return to my regularly sarcastic and abrasive self!

Sleep Deprivation

I remember the days as a hung-over college student when I could sleep until 1:00pm or take 2 days to lay in my bed only getting up to use the bathroom, have sex, and eat.  Those were officially my golden years and I realize that my ability to function coherently on 5 or less hours of sleep has departed. The staple of college is pulling all-nighters, staying up to hand in one of those 15 page papers you cranked out in 2 hours after coming home from a Thursday Quarter Drink Night! Then smudging through classes and finding an extra boost of energy to go out Friday night and party like a drunken rock star. 

My favorite was partying all night and when they finally decided to close the club at 2am you and your friends in a drunken state decided it would be a great idea to road trip from GA to NC right then to visit your roommates’ boyfriend at another college.  Oh and then drive back in the wee hours of the next morning so you could make it to work on time (only stopping so people could throw-up and then to grab McDonalds griddle cakes for fuel).  Did anybody else do that or was that just my crazy crew?

Either way I miss not needing much to get by, it made life easier when I was the busy 19 year old me. School, working 2 jobs, and drinking require a lot of your time and sleep just got in the way of that.  Who needed sleep when you had 24-hour diners and fast food to keep your body going? 

Fast forward 10 years and I’m at the point in my life where I would sell a kidney for a decent night sleep and I don’t even have kids yet.  I know parents of infants are going through it right now trying to manage life and a newborn’s “lack of sleep” schedule. I feel your pain in a very very distant way. Between work, hobbies, family, relationships, and general mind warping sleep is sacrificed for the greater good right now.  But unlike in my college years, now without sleep, I’m useless.   I don’t have fast food to fuel my body mainly because it destroys my body so I had to give it up a few years back. And unlike many of you I do not drink coffee or tea so my caffeine fix comes from red bull or soda (both of which I’m trying to give up like a responsible adult).  So I’m a truly just a tired soul meandering through my work day running on about 4.75 hours of sleep!!!  Which means I am not reading emails accurately, I am not responding to conversation appropriately, I am not going to remember what floor I parked on come 4:30pm. I probably won’t even remember this day.  There will be no remembering important details or smiling when people ask stupid questions. I am having waking daydreams and altered perception at this point. My only focus is the warm feeling I get when I lay in my bed, pull the covers over my head and drift into a heavenly state of being where my eyes close and my dreams come true. I wish my office came equipped with a pull out cot so I could just rest my eyes.  I’m debating on weather I want to take my lunch break in the car and catch a quick 30 minute snooze. 

I know all the science tells you the importance of sleep and how lack of sleep negatively affects your health. Sleep guidelines say we should get about 7 -9 hours of it a night; tell that to my active life. Dating alone puts a cramp in that! Late night get to know you phone calls, evening rendezvous, sleep overs and 2am hanging outs.  Sure that’s fun but sleep was nowhere in that equation.  Combine those activities with early morning workdays, afternoon workouts, dinner parties, birthday gatherings, work functions, and general daily routines and what time is left for sleeping.  I’m thankful I have time to shower and eat. I can only imagine when I have kids the horrors I will see and the lack of sleep I will experience.  Sweet dreams to you smart people that go to bed at a decent hour one day I will be on your team. For now I am just going to drink my energy V8 Fusion, hope my logical thoughts return,  and pray for reprieve.

What If Friday- Wishes

I was on a quest for a Friday blog theme and stumbled upon one of my favorite books and party games, If (Questions for the Game of Life). So I have decided without consulting with readers or anybody else for that matter to answer a question from the book every Friday.  My goal is to bring fantasy, invoke thought, and encourage randomness all at one time.  I always welcome the comments and answers of others. So feel free to play along.

Question:                   If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?

Well because this book doesn’t limit your answers in any way I am taking the question at face value. And my immediate and super smart answer would be: I wish for infinite wishes.

That way I can continue to have all the things I want.  Then I would wish for several things right away:

   

• My debt to be paid off
• A chance to meet my niece
• Good health for my family and friends
• A cure for Cancer and HIV/AIDS
• Invisibility and telekinesis
• My dream house
• People were less selfish and murderous
• A personal chauffer (so I could text and drive without breaking the law)
• An iPhone and external hard drive for my Mac so I can Cloud 
• A smart TV
• The ability to eat whatever I want but not gain weight
• A personal chef on call
• A maid (that doesn’t steal or write tell all books)
• Championship tickets to every championship I want
• UGA BCS Championships every other year until (other teams can feel the love too) 

OH and Happiness, World peace and all that Jazz…

What would you wish for? 

Tragedy in Colorado

In the wake of the tragic events in Colorado last night my regularly scheduled blog is taking a slight detour.  The news is currently bombarding me with coverage of the movie theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado.  It saddens me that we choose as a people to slaughter each other.  Nothing is sacred anymore! People can’t even go to a movie without being terrorized.  Leave people alone! Senseless death and violence is no way to prove a point or become famous. 

My heart goes out to the victims and their families and my prayers are with them, the shooter, and his family.  Somewhere our society went wrong people…somewhere we lost our way because generations of Americans are starting to take stock in guns and murder but not faith and compassion. 

Batman was a vigilante that doesn’t make him right but he did serve a purpose, to help the greater good.  When events like this occur it makes you wonder what happen to the spirit that super heroes use to invoke. Doing right, saving lives, and thwarting the evils of the world?  What happened to us as a society that what’s valued is owning weapons, stacking body counts, out smarting police, causing general anarchy, and living out your days in prison?  The incarceration rate in the United States of America is the highest in the world. As of 2009, the incarceration rate was 754 per 100,000 of national population (0.743%). The US Department of Justice estimates that 1 in every 32 Americans are held by the justice system. WTF people!  The greater good is worth it!  I wish more people believed that and started laying off the bath salts and mass murdering!

My only real thought right now is to spread the love. Love the people in your life. Tell them every day! Support each other! Find compassion in your hearts for others. You really never know what can happen or the impact kind words and shared sentiment can have.  

On a side note: When incidents like this happen the response is to increase security and heighten awareness.  Soon I will no longer be able to sneak in popcorn or drinks because I will have to succumb to bag checks and metal detectors. I just want to pay my $11.50 and watch what I came to see, no hassle, no drama, no gunman. The movies will become the next airport security check…and that makes me sad too.

My regularly scheduled Friday Blog will post this evening before I go see the Dark Knight (Please don’t try to kill me before I can witness this cinematic greatness).

For coverage on the events I recommend visiting CNN: http://www.cnn.com/

Spontaneous Combustion

I am bubbling over with excitement over sooooo many things today! So much that I decided to share with the 20+ people that read this blog. Thank you to anyone reading this right now! You are awesome! I truly believe you are a rock star genius qualified to take over the world, go forth with any plans you have for world domination and remember I always supported you.

My birthday plans are coming together (sort of).  My best friend and all of her 4’11 glory calls me yesterday and says “there is this party for my sister’s birthday (Aug 4) what if we made it a joint thing and you came to NY to celebrate your birthday early”. My answer is sure why not!  So now I’m flying into New York sometime in like 1.5 weeks to play and be merry, and then headed to Atlantic City for a birthday extravaganza.  There will be beaches, sexy outfits, bar hoping, dinner eating, and good ole fun going down in various parts of eastern and western NYC and select parts of NJ.  It will be like an episode of Girls but without crack, sex, or artsy white people. Now I just need to get in the gym double-time so my body is pseudo ready for a bathing suit, hit that all liquids diet for reassurance, get my hair did and purchase 2 bad-ass dresses for all the birthday debauchery (here and afar).  I will be returning prior to my actual birthday and those plans are still undecided.

As all of this is happening, I am simultaneously pricing closed captioning; planning meetings; mocking up websites; and getting up to speed on infectious disease communications work groups…you know work stuff they pay me to do. Then like a Rainbow appearing in the sky, I receive a lunch invitation. I was excited, seeing as how I love food and the three Ks, not the racists group - all the ladies invited happen to have names that begin with K.  L-K-K-K *in my Lil Scrappy voice* is meeting up tomorrow and although we aren’t a bona fide rap group we are living a lavish lifestyle of documents, planning, and risk communication. 

After all that was squared away, I worked on Friday night plans to see the Dark Knight Rises, a movie that I have been waiting for the better half of what seems like my adult life to witness.  Will it cure cancer or solve world hunger? No!  But it will make me happy and fulfill my action hero fix for at least 2-6 months. So me and a group of ladies (that’s right girls like comic-action-adventure movies too) are making this thing happen tomorrow at 7:00pm.  And like any smart hardworking adult, I pre-purchased my ticket online to avoid lines, chaos, or sold out notifications.

Throw in the fact that I am insanely excited about a new beginning (wherever it takes me) that will definitely involve some cooking and lots of laughing Then there is the recent pregnancy of a friend, a recent engagement of another friend, 3 planned weddings in the next 2 months, and the impending start of college football season causing me to boil over with joy.  Add in photo shoots, house hunting, and more script writing and this almost sounds like I’m back to needing a personal assistant and perhaps some valium. I am pretty sure this means I’m about to spontaneously combust from excitement. If I catch ablaze please just hose me down and send me to my next meeting.  

Anti-Sick Remarks

I am not feeling my normal 120% this morning; I'm more of a cool 95% which doesn't bode well with me!  Don’t you hate the feeling right before you get sick? It’s that uncomfortable ominous cloud that hovers over your sinus passages.  You don’t know if it’s going to be a thunderstorm or just a light rain. It’s a weird limbo that ruins your mood. Achoo! (I did just actually sneeze while writing this)

Today my focus will be ingesting obscene amounts of Vitamin C, water, and whatever else I can get my clammy little hands on.  Right now I am enjoying a nice mug of Airborne, which I love and keep at work, home, and in my car.  I refuse to be sick!!!!

I hate being sick!  I hate taking leave from work (if I am off I want to be enjoying it), I hate being quarantined (isolation is the worst), I hate not being able to taste food, I hate migraines, and I hate medication. I also kinda hate soup…Don’t all gasp at once!

The only upside to being sick is the sleeping, if you can breathe at all. Otherwise that is impossible too. My ultimate plan is to avoid that at all cost, even if I have to see a shaman/healer/witchdoctor in a shack on Buford Hwy.

Besides I don’t have anybody to take care of sick me. I was cleaning knives last night (don’t worry about all of that) and thought if I injury myself I don’t even have anybody to take me to the hospital. Knowing me I would try to drive myself.  Then I realized, I really am about to get sick because I am having weird lonely thoughts like that and I am cleaning at night on a Tuesday.

I cleaned my entire apartment bathroom, kitchen, living room, and bedroom.  I swept, mopped, windexed, vacuumed, washed rugs and I even cleaned my microwave.  I never do all that at one time, something is awry people. Some sort of evil is coming, I know it and so do my squeaky clean counter tops. People start making amends and get right with God you have been warned!

My sad face is on but I did have some quality conversation that cheered me up this morning (football, discovery channel, and knighthood oh my)! I also remembered that college football is only a few weeks away so salvation is near. I just have to make it to Friday!!!

Tuesday Part 2: Seven Habits of a Highly Effective Me

So Stephen Covey died yesterday which is tragic and sad. RIP Dr. Covey.  In honor of him, I want to talk about The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People a book I haven’t read but am now a certified Wikipedia expert on…

Independence or Self-Mastery

So I hear the first 3 habits are about moving from dependence to independence, something I value a great deal in life.

• Habit 1: Be Proactive - Take responsibility for your choices and the consequences that follow. “No glove, no love “really this is 2012 and they have drug- resistant strains of Gonorrhea taking folks out the game.  “You break it, You buy it “also works and does apply to everything I own…
  *be careful fellas women in 2012 are suing for broken hearts and broken promises
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind - clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. My mission statements are “kitchen ninja” and “Jack of all trades master of None”!

• Habit 3: Put First Things First - Prioritize, plan, and execute based on importance rather than urgency. I have mastered this concept and developed a slight obsession with post-it-notes and dry erase boards.  I’m a list maker, a planner, a prima donna of procedure. I just need to figure out how to use that to enrich my relationships. Apparently the list of what I want in a partner is ineffective because I rarely follow it; case in point, the last 3.5 years of my life.

Interdependence

So I read the following 3 habits have to do with Interdependence. My kindergarten report card did say “plays well with others”; I just grew out of that when I learned the others were crazy.

• Habit 4: Think Win-Win - strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. I need to work on this apparently I’m an advocate for individually beneficial for the other person. An enabler if you will! But now that I’m down a few parasitic organisms, perhaps I can strive for solutions that are #winning for me and any future partner. 
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood –I don’t listen to people like I should but I am a good listener when I put in the effort  (people tell me a lot even when I don’t ask them too). I’m happy to help and I do believe in compelling people to reciprocate listening and be open-minded. However, my atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving revolves around threats of shanking people to death.
• Habit 6: Synergize - Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork aka be on a kick-ass team of superheroes.  I‘m Jem and my holograms are the truth… Synergy is what I live for oh and helping people all while being fashionable.  Justice League 2013!!!!

Self- Renewal

• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw- balance and renew resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term lifestyle. My effective lifestyle is in progress and I am proud to say I’m happy about the course it is taking. Sure I hit a few bumps that threw me off balance but I learned something (doesn’t cohabitate well with others)! My health is on track because I eliminated some necessary stressors (some people can literally make you sick in my case)!  My resources are good so back up off my bank account yo! And my energy is regenerating as we speak. 

All in all, I think I am a highly effective person! I have made it this far without dying (or even breaking a bone), having babies, or getting arrested.  I would classify that as pretty damn good.  I have also graduated from college twice, bought my own car, paid my own rent, and worked a great job (with a 401K), all while making my own amazing friends. 

Sure I have made some questionable decisions; seen a camel; dominated in Taboo; started a blog; over-indulged slightly a time or two; laughed at peoples’ pain; cursed at inappropriate times; owned a Care bear; wore fringe (it was the 80s); had a few speeding infractions; and clearly avoided saying no to people I care about but I apologized for most of that. Besides I think that can all be erased by the fact that I’m cute, quirky, and incredibly funny! Oh I meant to add fits of vanity to that list.  

Either way define success and effectiveness how you want…it is different for everybody (I’m sure the book probably says that). For me it’s just being me and doing the things I want with the people I love and by that standard, I am  an Effective F*cking Rockstar!

Tuesday Part 1

So the universe is conspiring against me.  It is trying to force me to get a pet when it knows I can’t have one yet. The universe knows I am weak when it comes to resisting things that I want, I'm pretty sure that is why I dated some of the guys I dated despite them being a bad idea.  The last few days I have been bombarded with sweet, loveable photos of dogs in needs of home.   First it was the fostering emails at work, and then it was the random requests of friends “do you know anybody looking for a puppy so-and-so has some to get rid of".  Now all I want is another dog but I promised myself not until I have a house and there is space for a dog to be in. Thank God for my ace boon coon because she definitely reminded me of the downsides; I can’t travel at will, costly medical expenses, the small space that is my apartment and so much more.  I will be strong! I will be strong.

Keep your pit-bull puppies and homeless dogs to yourself people I am resisting!  L

In crazier animal news, driving into work today I saw a camel on the side of the road.  I'm assuming he was out for his morning walk but clearly this is Atlanta and camels don’t belong on the roadside.  Buford Highway is truly a land of mystery and exotic creatures.  There is a fair in town so my guess is the camel is with them…but again this is Atlanta so you never know.  It could very well be somebody’s pet.

My thoughts are all over the place this morning so I am going to need to regroup then repost. I am feeling some kind of way mainly because I am sleep deprived.  I had a late business meeting that lead to me being stuck in traffic for 30 minutes behind a huge accident.  That gave me extra time to think about food because L and T decided they were going to Applebee’s and wouldn’t shut-up about it! Its Applebee’s not Ruth Chris Steak House (calm down)!  So of course when I get home I am hungry which means I had to make a grilled cheese sandwich on wheat (I mentioned earlier I have a hard time resisting things I want). So that put me in bed 1-hour later than normal and here we are; me with crazy thoughts!  And all I can say is:

Sally the camel has five humps.
Sally the camel has five humps.
Sally the camel has five humps.
So ride, Sally, ride.
Boom, boom, boom, boom!

Sally has one hump but you know the deal!

Supernatural Crazy Weekend Fun

Who needs supernatural events when you have human tomfoolery?  What is it about full moons and Friday 13^th that brings out the crazy in folks.  This weekend kicked off with Friday July 13, 2012 and the foolishness that occurred was like something out of a movie.   Surreal and memorable, I didn’t know the impact of whatever moon is in my celestial house.

I started my Friday normal; running late because I overslept. Rushing through shower, hair and tattoo moisturizing, I grab my strawberry-pomegranate smoothie (with carrot juice) and start off my day at work. I reviewed email, confirmed my lunch plans, posted my Friday blog and proceeded with my day.  Then the glimmers of crazy began to reveal themself.

By 9:00 AM I was invited to game night (so excited to participate and it couldn’t have come at a better time). Then Facebook starts acting up and I can’t change my cover photo #EpicFail. Once that starts to annoy me, I begin an interesting convo via messenger and phone with a friend that ends with me being solicited to be stripper support aka festive eye candy for an upcoming bachelor party.  Party sure thing I like those, but “working” a party, no thank you! Say what? Boi Stop! And why the disrespect I thought we were better than that!  Shortly after the trauma of the previous conversation subsides, I leave campus to attend a seminar on a Harvard Poll Study I worked on and ran smack-dab into a convoy for a visiting Senator. I spend some time visiting some of my favorite former work people  (got some work done) and then somehow end up being the Krispy Kreme ambassador passing out doughnuts while wearing an official Krispy Kreme hat.  Apparently it was the 75^th anniversary of the doughnut chain and people are lazy sharers. I then had lunch at an undisclosed FBI facility where people wear guns to work. Upon returning to my office I find out one of my favorite and longest standing friends is now engaged.  I am so excited she is getting married…please not in Chicago…it’s too cold there in the winter.

I leave for the day and see a guy about some brownies then begin mental preparation for game night.  Game night was a success,  I had sooooo much fun and a kick ass winning team. I laughed and drank, confirmed that UGA produces quality functional alcoholics (wine in the bag), learned I never want to work at an emergency clinic (gerbils do not belong in your anus), restored my faith in young generations (there are smart and focused young people in the world), learned that rappers can write books but shouldn’t (we was overwhelmed) and had my leg sexually assaulted by what I think was a Yorkshire Terrier (I am pretty sure my leg is with child).

Saturday kicked off with windshield repairs, where I chatted it up with Repairman Randy for almost 2 hours learning about his wife, kids, sister, father, family business and the glass repair industry as a whole.  As a result of friendly conversation he proceeds to give me a rocking discount (50% off) and coupons for all kinds of stuff just because his family supports UGA (Go Dawgs) and because I was nice.  Thanks Randy you are #Winning!  I then proceed to my parents’ house to drop off some sunglasses my dad lost in my car on our recent road trip.  While there I grabbed a snack (hey free food never gets old) in the form of a ham and cheese sandwich and pita chips. I also walked into a target returned items and bought nothing else in return (that is a miracle of the supernatural variety). On my drive back to civilization I got the full engagement story which involves lighthouses and handmade rings (so sweet).

I finished my weekend by attending Mass (I need the Lord in my life) then catching up on episodes of Warehouse 13, watching G4 coverage of Comic Con, talking one of my best friends off the ledge of self-destruction (another blog to follow on bad decision making), and having a game-changing conversation with my other best friend in reference to the ledge. I was exposed to the comedy of drunken white people on a wine tour, the impact of not having AC in a 9 person limo, and the importance of bringing your own snacks.  I also learned that I have previously been a savior for people, especially those who need help (which might be why I am disappointed when they can’t help me or abuse that help). In friendships and relationships I was playing Captain Save-a- Ho!  My weekend ended in self-discovery, Jesus Saves, LeShaundra Doesn’t!   And for the first time I felt a twinge of sadness that my entire support system (my best friends) all live very far away.  And that now we are growing up and getting married and having babies and we won’t all live in the same neighborhood, have dinner parties,  plan PTA functions,  rotate super bowl parties, or share babysitters like I imagined as a child. I will have to settle for family vacations and skype!   But all in all Kellie, Nita, and Ashley are 3 amazing women that I love and adore and I am blessed to have them in my life, even if they live far away.  To the other people I cherish that live in my vicinity you all know who you are J thanks for being awesomely awesome! Good friends are imperative especially for Friday 13^th, full moons, drinking pitchers, and burying bodies (I’ll never tell)!

PS: does anybody have a light in their house that mysteriously just turns itself on?  I have a lamp that continues to force me to walk around my apartment with weapons and Loud-talking the words “whose there? I don’t mind killing people to save myself”! It’s just one lamp and its super creepy! Sam and Dean are welcome to show up at any time...

Questioning the Inevitable

Thank you to my best friend for providing today’s topic.  Via our traditional conversations in bbm I received a great message:  We need to stop putting question marks where we know God has put a period.

In previous ramblings I mentioned my need for improvement as a devoted Catholic, that is still true and this blog won’t change that (I am a work in progress people).   This statement is so true for me on a personal level but it had me thinking about how people try to edit the events in their lives despite finality or the necessity of accepting them how they are.  And don’t worry non-spiritual people this isn’t a blog on religion.  It’s a blog on editing reality and how it misguides us in life.

A prime example of this and a situation in dire need of a “Come to Jesus Moment” is Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (yes I took it there).   So everyone including myself is up in arms about Mimi and Joseline.  Two women I think are editing their lives to avoid a period.   Stevie J is a cheater, liar, bad drunk, drink thrower, neck biter and potential  wife beater (his threats aren’t playful and he got physical with his pregnant girlfriend). That sentence ended with a period.  Buy to Mimi and Joseline the sentence seems to be Stevie J is a cheater? Liar? Bad Drunk? Lover? Father? Etc. etc…those points seem to be questions.  Will he continue this behavior? Will he change? Maybe he will be different next time.  Now they are consciously deciding to stay with this man because he may be loving or they may be wrong about what they saw, heard, or witnessed. This questioning of definitive points is now manifesting into a cycle of stupidity. Editing your reality so it seems better and tolerable, and acceptable is dangerous practice but we are all guilty of it!  Don’t be stupid ladies and remember to love yourself more than the foolishness, period.

I say I’m a realist but sometimes my definition of real is what suits me.  I convinced myself for years to stay in something I knew was making me sad inside, eroding my esteem and draining my energy. I edited my truth because of unreached potential, attempts to avoid discomfort, and the ultimate death grip called love. I questioned several of God’s periods. Despite signs, the warning, the actual events that occurred I fought really hard for something I wanted to be right so I wouldn’t be wrong.  I edited my reality for all the wrong reasons. I have done it in multiple relationships staying longer than I should, ignoring issues, allowing second chances, lowering my standard of behavioral expectations. Although it has brought great blog material, in many cases I could have avoided the WWIII fallout in the process and saved some much needed money.

Why do we doubt ourselves and the truth?  I know acceptance isn’t easy. I also know the truth is often the last thing we want; it doesn’t always fit our best laid plans, and is usually painful or difficult to swallow.  But truth is important and necessary because it ends with a period.  It is the thing we can cling to when making decisions, when learning, when healing, when moving forward.  Questions can be messy, they leave you unfulfilled and other people responsible; they are ambiguous and lead to confusion on many accounts.  Yes questions are important when learning in school, managing your finances, or raising teenagers. But sometimes questioning finite truths lead us down a dangerous path.

Either way somethings just are.  Sometimes accepting the truth is empowering and brings resolution.  Instead of questions, another common approach is ignorance. I don’t condone this or encourage it as it can be costly.  Besides, how can you be ignorant asking all those questions??? Ignorance isn’t bliss nor does it prevent negative outcomes. That rattling sound my engine is making, if I turn my radio up loud enough it goes away. Problem solved until God decides to turn that period into an exclamation point that cost me $800 and change!  

Believe in the period:

You have a chance run in with your boyfriend/husband/spouse and his mistress/sidepiece/pregnant girlfriend and you want to fight the truth and not your man.  Sure people make mistakes but don’t question that one, misguided! He cheated on you and knocked that hefer up, period.

22 people tell you what you already feel --that your relationship is making you different in a bad way, seems unhealthy, isolates you from family, and probably won’t work out.  Sure they don’t know you and your boo.  That doesn’t mean you go and marry him after 6 months then get upset it doesn’t work out, don’t question your uncertainty or the advice of those closest to you, follow your gut.  That relationship wasn’t meant to be, period.

It’s time take care of your health either because of illness or the voice of others in your life.  Don’t question that our waste second chances.  I am pretty sure if you are obese, diabetic, have a history of heart problems etc… you should put down the hamburgers and fried chicken. No you can’t eat what you want just because you took your medicine. You need to eat right and take health seriously, period.

*Please don’t use the rationalization that I have been doing it for 40+ years and it hasn’t killed me yet. Newsflash you only die once and that is period followed with an exclamation point.  

You go on Maury Povich to paternity test 11 guys.  Don’t question the audience booing you or the anger of these men. Don’t question the disgust you feel radiating from the 257 viewers watching at home in the middle of the damn day.  You’re a ho, period.

Your blackberry is on the fritz AGAIN for the umpteenth time.  Don’t question your Verizon IT specialist.  Don’t blame it on the network or condensation.  Don’t question loyalty to team blackberry or reflect on your blackberry for president Facebook statuses. Wait for your contract to end and get an iPhone, period. I am working on this one myself J

Don’t question the truth or shoot the messenger. Shit happens people and it ends, period. Happy Friday!