Happy Almost Birthday?

I am going to be 29 this year, in 25 days to be exact and I have no idea how to celebrate that.  My birthday is sort of a double edged sword.  Historically it has been a day where I often don’t get gifts (or I get gifts that suck), have fights with the men in my life, get a visit from my Aunt Flow (do people still say that), and never have birthday sex because of the last 2 points. I am generally ok with the fact that I am getting older but my actual birthday has such a negative connotation.

I wanted to reflect on some of my past birthday experiences so you can see where I’m coming from:

·    8^th birthday was the year I wanted GI Joe and transformer action figures but got a Barbie Rock&Roll Tour van and cabbage patch doll. It’s cool mom, I “borrowed” transformers from the neighbor’s son and had the Decepticons execute a hostile takeover of Barbie and her crew.  Kidnapping them, cutting off their hair, and driving said tour van into a gathering of the Stuffed Animal Nation (it was their annual meeting)!! 

·    12^th birthday – first sleep over. I was only allowed to invite 3 friends. My dad was in charge of taking us to Blockbuster. His lack of observation allowed us to rent 2 rated R movies.  The movies contained nudity, which upset my mother who proceeded to whoop my ass. In retrospect despite being embarrassed she was right; I totally took advantage of my dad’s ignorance and nonchalant attitude and got R movies. I suckered him but it didn’t pan out how I anticipated.

I spent most birthdays from 4 until 8 and then from 13- 16 in New Orleans…we were always there at the end of the summer which meant no birthday party for me. Epic fail!

·    19^th birthday my college boyfriend and I got into over what, I couldn’t tell you.  I decided to drive all night to Alabama and spent my birthday weekend with my best friend at UAB.  This means I burned gas money I didn’t have, slept on a couch, and had to call out sick to work so I could drive back with a hangover.

·    21^st birthday - I just remember being angry and not as drunk as I would have liked!

·    22^nd birthday – I don’t remember because I was trying to make up for 21. I just have flashes of eating a ham sandwich and walking in and out of my townhouse with a red cup.  That is it, seriously.

·    24^th birthday was the year I went to New York (alone)...all I can say about that is NY is hot as hell in August.  No gifts received L

·    25^th birthday - The year I planned a party, complete with cocktail happy hour at my apartment! Unfortunately besides looking great, I got drunk too early, threw up on a club owner, spent like $300 on food and drinks (apparently when I drink I get really liberal with my credit card) and ended up in the back seat of an Audi holding my head out of a window praying that Jon didn’t run into any stop lights (thanks for driving me home Jon).  I also let my friends photograph me in a shower cap and pjs pants on my bathroom floor.  I was in bed by 12:30am which is just a shame.

·    26^th birthday was the year we went to Ten Pin and that great steak house at Lenox. I looked great but my boyfriend was upset that a former friend was in attendance.  Please note we discussed ahead of time and it wasn’t my doing.  He also was anti-social and didn’t want to go out ever, which was a problem because that was the only plan.  We argued the entire night and split ways later that evening.  I ended up drinking briefly with the ladies then going home alone to sleep on my couch.

·    27^th birthday- I was still with the same guy and in an effort to avoid a repeat of 26 (since we were living together by then) I kept it low key.  I bought myself a small cake from whole foods and complimented that with cookie-dough ice cream.  We ate it together, watched a movie, then proceeded to go back to separate bedrooms.  Happy Awkward Birthday to ME! 

·    28^th birthday - Because I had the same boyfriend and was still working hard to avoid drama and we were not really speaking, I again decided to keep it super low key and Sharon and Tashia were kind enough to take me out for Mexican.  Thank you Ladies (and Jaylen) it was GREAT (cake, balloon, and great times)!  For the record my night ended at 8:30pm after we left and it began to rain.

So I haven't had a real party (that was successful) and now I'm past the point of no return in age.  I also share my birthday week with like 10 other people (including sharing my actual birthdate with one of my cousins); so that always strains my friends and family.  I might as well have been born on Christmas.  

Its not all bad I guess and I have learned some valuable insights over the years including: By the time my birthday comes around I am not in the mood to plan my own party; None of my local friends show up anywhere on time; Tashia gives the best cards; My parents have finally learned the importance of giving me money; My coworkers believe in birthday lunch which I enjoy; I am hard to gift for mainly because I have super expensive taste, usually just buy what I want, or tell people not to worry about it which is a lie to avoid showing them I have expensive taste; I hate Barbie and  love yellow cake!

This year my Bday falls on a Wednesday so I already know I will be at work. Which really blows but I have a conference to attend.  I’ll keep you posted on what I decide in the end; hopefully I will have an eventful, happy, fun story to tell.  It is time to bring good times back to LC’s birthday.  

2012 Birthday Gift Wish List (for those interested)

·         iPhone

·         iPad tv connector

·         Memory for my Mac

·         Louis Vuitton- Speedy 35

·         Coach- Bleecker Legacy Leather Weekend Tote

·         A new watch

·         DSW gift cards

·         Channing Tatum or Jesse Williams