Senseless (What If Friday)

“It's Friday, and I'm ready to sing pick up my girls, and hit the party scene…Tonight oh oh it's alright umm. So get up and let this funky mellow grove get you in the mood cause you know it's alright...”

I’m jamming right now as I write this blog. It is indeed Friday and its time for another installment of If (Questions for the Game of Life). You know the drill!

Question:  If you had to lose one of your fives sense, which would you give up?

To answer that question quickly I would give up my ability to hear. To answer in more depth, I would give up my hearing because:

1)    Sight is necessary for safety purposes. I have a hard enough time getting around safely with my eyesight. But seeing a smiling face, my computer screen, and the sun rising and setting are all things I don’t want to give up.  Furthermore, I like driving and knowing where my exits are! I also think braille is incredible difficult to learn at this point in the game.

 

2)    Touch is a necessity. Sure I would love to avoid feeling pain but without feeling pain you can’t feel pleasure. You already know where this is going people…Sex. Who wants to go through life never feeling that?  Not I said the cat (pun intended). Sure there are practical reasons for touch, feeling injuries, hot or cold so you can regulate your body temperature but it really all comes back to sex for me, so I’m going to just move on.

 

3)    Taste is my favorite so I can’t give it up. I love food way too much to do that to myself! Right now I am enjoying some homemade banana pudding…I could never deny myself that.

 

4)    Smelling was on my list right under hearing but then I remembered that without smell there is no taste. So as much as I would want to avoid smelling shit (literally and figuratively) my desire to taste food will always win.  Besides some smells are good; warm cookies, perfume, grilled meat, despair of others (if you have caused it), and victory! All things I enjoy.

So that just leaves hearing. I figure I already know sign language or at least enough to tell people my name. I can still use the Internet to communicate via my blog. I won't get brain cancer from holding my cell phone up to my ear to talk. I can still have a kick ass job because I would be covered under the disabilities act.  I can still function pretty much as normal but without having to pretend to listen to people, like I occasionally do. I can always answer NO to "Can you hear me now". I can avoid pointless conversation and unpleasant noises like nails on a chalkboard, cats meowing, crying babies, nagging old ladies, car crashes, sirens, squeaky hinges, tissue paper rustling, balloons popping, and so much more!  I could also get a text-to-talk app and tell people what I really think using a robot voice.  That fact alone makes this the best and only option! 

I would ask you what you think but I wouldn’t be able to hear your answer so it’s pointless.

Enjoy your night folks!