Fear Factor

We all have fears in life. There aren’t too many things that actually scare me, which explains my love for scary movies and horror films. I was thinking on my way into work this morning that I have very few legitimate fears; but there are more things I dislike or that cause me discomfort.

Fear Factor and Scare tactics were shows, I remember them! The concepts were classic, put people in unknown situations that play off of things that are scary.  That’s not hard to do these days because there is a lot to fear in society, but it got me thinking where do our fears come from? What initiated some of my fears and does facing them really help you overcome them? I’m sure fear has been studied by some scientist somewhere but I want to self-assess.

I never had phobias as a child nor did I worry about unfortunate events.  But should Lemony Snicket or Freddy Krueger decided to wage war on my mental state there are some things they could use as fuel. Obviously I had to identify my fears:

Failure – I know this seems cliché. But I hate losing, even at life! If I have failed at something it devastates my psyche and projects into anger and disappointment. It isn’t pretty people and it really pisses me off, but that anger is just manifested fear. I don’t want to ever fail but when I do it is crippling.

Being homeless – I know this seems weird but I really do fear losing all my money and living out my version of the great depression. Sleeping in shelters and panhandling for food. Not sure where this fear comes from but it’s real enough for me to work like a Jamaican and hoard my money. I’m frugal for a reason people.  The thought of not being able to shower, sleeping on the ground, or dying of malnutrition or health issues gives me goose bumps.  Living of the kindness of others is enough to give me a panic attack; others aren’t kind and to be in a situation where I have nothing would be demoralizing. Besides I might end up crazy, vocalizing the end of the world, pushing a shopping cart and collecting stray cats and that is no good for anybody.

Dying from a faulty parachute – I don’t have a problem with heights, or flying, or extreme sports. I have a problem with parachutes and I will never sky dive because I value my life and because I fear dying.  It’s kind of bizarre and I know I say I will try anything once but I won’t do that.  I get anxiety thinking about it; suiting up, getting in the plane, standing at the door having to jump, falling….falling, and ultimately falling some more. My shoot doesn’t open I plummet to my death and then wake up in my next fear. 

Going to Hell – as a Catholic I have been conditioned to fear hell and Nuns. I have clearly had several dreams about dying and several have ended in hell. My guess is that was manifested guilt for something but the reality is hell is scary and not a place I want to be. I joke about driving the bus for all those people I know wearing gasoline draws; but I don’t even want to get that close. I want to be the lady with the clipboard helping load the bus and then watching it drive away into the dreary and destitute sunset. I’m prayed up right now and repenting for my sins every day (living life the righteous way). I envision hell being hot and gross (which is hell also because I hate sweating); and I feel like it is a place where your darkest realities come true. My hell would be full of Justin Bieber songs, PBS specials, TPS reports, bland food, insects, 2 hour meetings where I have to pay attention, not having twitter and being without my loved ones. I picture it like ground hog day but with flames and serial killers.

I realize this is a short list and perhaps that’s good! I have less to worry about but in terms of my ability to face these fears, I really can’t do that because many are terminal.  So I strive to avoid them at all costs. I can’t imagine what it is like for people with real phobias; in my mind I equate it to living every day in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre house.  My fears come from dreams and over thinking but that means I can process them internally and they motivate me to work hard and do the right thing.  I know for others fear can hinder your function and be derived from very traumatic experiences. I do not wonder what that's like. 

What strikes fear in your heart? Whatever it is just remember “One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again”…
Some items that made the discomfort list just so you know what I’m working with and what to avoid wishing upon me:

·         Being a passenger in a car with Amanda Bynes

·         Being pregnant with twins (or multiples)

·         Being reincarnated as a teenage cheerleader

·         Decipticons taking over the earth

·         Gardening

·         Gatherings of Birds (flocks) – full blame to Alfred Hitchcock

·         Large animals (cows, bears, horses, hippos)

·         Public Speaking (groups of over 25 individuals)

·         Sarah Palin

·         Sauerkraut

·         Sharks

·         Snakes on a Plane (the movie and it actually happening)

·         Spiders

·         Stalkers

Psycho Classic Fear!!!



Hello Krueger Kitty (LOL)







He is just an actor!