So it is Tuesday July 3rd and as my family is preparing for bbq and drinking for the next 4 days I had some time to reflect on my Monday spending time with my dad and his relatives.
The Cordier family (for my purposes) consists of my Grandmother Mildred and my grandfather (God rest his soul) Joseph Cordier and their 4 kids; Bebe, Marsha, Monica, and Cedrick (my dad). Each sibling has children who will likely make up the cast of characters in my other NOLA related blogs.
For context my dad and I drove 7 hr and 12 minutes (I speed everywhere but Mississppi) from Atlanta to New Orleans, LA! My dad and I have a great relationship I know he is crazy and he knows I am his offspring which makes for the ultimate unconditional love experience! My dad loves me and my sister no matter what, which he tells us all the time. You ever need to be bailed out of jail call me; you need help with anything call me; you need the shirt off my back call me. He is truly an amazing man and raised at least one good daughter (my sister still needs work).
This man has been a daily presence in my life for 29 years but riding with him for 7 hours in a car is an adventure! My dad is a retired Air Force, chain smoking, diabetic, loud talking, New Orleans born, Catholic character with failing vision and hearing. I couldn’t write it better if I was a writer (I know right). And 7 hours with a man that has back problems, gas control issues, and a wealth of knowledge on every topic known to man was a goldmine or pure comedy.
In the interest of time I am only going to share some of the most recent tidbits from Monday:
My dad apparently has done a substantial amount of drugs and in his spare time steals Chihuahuas from stoned white guys that live in trailers. My dad clearly lived in a different era the 70’s which means drugs were beyond the normal activity. I learned during the course of this road trip some of the many things about him that made me feel less guilty for anything I may have done (I admit to nothing) and that explain so much about his thoughts and pre- elderly confusion! My dad tells me a story about how he was staying with some guys from the Midwest in a trailer park and how he happened to fix a drink (whiskey and lime) and set it down to find that a small dog begins to drink it as if a normal occurrence. Come to find out that just happens to be the dogs drink of choice and his drug of choice is marijuana (dogs back then apparently had the right to gateway drugs too). My dad was intrigued and decided that was a dog he could hang with and proceeded to put the dog in his pocket and leave without being found out! He dog-napped a chihauhua! And took care of him, helped him sober up and live a better life he said! Me being the listener asked what ever happened to the dog? Well somebody stole him from me, can you believe it? A few years later he was taken…the nerve of some people! LMAO! I also learned that my DAD has no sense of sound and speaks in the “I have on headphones voice” everyday; I am right next you, there is no need to yell!
Upon arriving to New Orleans, my grandmother who we were trying to surprise informs us that she is a psychic detective (similar to Shawn Spencer from Psych). She informed us that she was well aware we were coming because someone (a family member that remained nameless) mentioned needing to buy diet soda! My grandma doesn’t drink diet soda and she immediately realized that my dad was coming because sometimes he drinks diet soda being diabetic and all! She called is ESP, my uncle called it ESPN! I called it eavesdropping. LOL Either way she wasn’t surprised but was happy to see us!
I also learned that my grandma is addicted to Chinese food and that apparently this place does not serve dog, which is good! My dad also corrected her, informing all the Chinese were not known for eating dog and that her Chinese food people were probably Korean all because of the way the food was prepared. The man has lived a lot of places and knows his Asian culture. Regardless of nationality, they apparently make some damn good fried chicken wings and my dad does endorse that message, kudos Golden Palace!
My last anecdote of the day is going to be related to peanut butter! My dad and I made sandwiches for our road trip including PBJ! Shout out to Ms. Spence for giving me that White Chocolate Wonderful peanut butter. OMG! Another Shout out to my cousin Blaise for putting me on to the Biscoff Spread that taste just like my favorite airline cookies, my life will never be the same!!!! Anyway, when we arrive at the house and begin unpacking the cooler my uncle was inquiring about our food.
Dad: Peanut butter Sandwiches my dad says, that’s what they are why do you want one?
Uncle Bebe: What kind of sandwiches, penis butter? (Smirking)
Dad: yes Peanut butter and jelly
Uncle Bebe: so you like jelly with your penis butter? Shaunie, your dad likes penis butter and jelly sandwiches! Did you know that?
Me: Why?!!! I am going outside because you two are clearly 12 (laughing hysterically on the inside). Dad he said Penis butter you didn’t hear him?
Dad: Bebe you jackass! Let’s ask Monica when she comes in the house…hehe she will fall for it!
That good people sums up my Monday! Now I wait for this afternoon to come, when I will escort my uncle, dad, and cousin to Sam’s Club for shopping in preparation for this Cordier cookout! Wish me luck!
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