Thank you to my best friend for providing today’s topic. Via our traditional conversations in bbm I received a great message: We need to stop putting question marks where we know God has put a period.
In previous ramblings I mentioned my need for improvement as a devoted Catholic, that is still true and this blog won’t change that (I am a work in progress people). This statement is so true for me on a personal level but it had me thinking about how people try to edit the events in their lives despite finality or the necessity of accepting them how they are. And don’t worry non-spiritual people this isn’t a blog on religion. It’s a blog on editing reality and how it misguides us in life.
A prime example of this and a situation in dire need of a “Come to Jesus Moment” is Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (yes I took it there). So everyone including myself is up in arms about Mimi and Joseline. Two women I think are editing their lives to avoid a period. Stevie J is a cheater, liar, bad drunk, drink thrower, neck biter and potential wife beater (his threats aren’t playful and he got physical with his pregnant girlfriend). That sentence ended with a period. Buy to Mimi and Joseline the sentence seems to be Stevie J is a cheater? Liar? Bad Drunk? Lover? Father? Etc. etc…those points seem to be questions. Will he continue this behavior? Will he change? Maybe he will be different next time. Now they are consciously deciding to stay with this man because he may be loving or they may be wrong about what they saw, heard, or witnessed. This questioning of definitive points is now manifesting into a cycle of stupidity. Editing your reality so it seems better and tolerable, and acceptable is dangerous practice but we are all guilty of it! Don’t be stupid ladies and remember to love yourself more than the foolishness, period.
I say I’m a realist but sometimes my definition of real is what suits me. I convinced myself for years to stay in something I knew was making me sad inside, eroding my esteem and draining my energy. I edited my truth because of unreached potential, attempts to avoid discomfort, and the ultimate death grip called love. I questioned several of God’s periods. Despite signs, the warning, the actual events that occurred I fought really hard for something I wanted to be right so I wouldn’t be wrong. I edited my reality for all the wrong reasons. I have done it in multiple relationships staying longer than I should, ignoring issues, allowing second chances, lowering my standard of behavioral expectations. Although it has brought great blog material, in many cases I could have avoided the WWIII fallout in the process and saved some much needed money.
Why do we doubt ourselves and the truth? I know acceptance isn’t easy. I also know the truth is often the last thing we want; it doesn’t always fit our best laid plans, and is usually painful or difficult to swallow. But truth is important and necessary because it ends with a period. It is the thing we can cling to when making decisions, when learning, when healing, when moving forward. Questions can be messy, they leave you unfulfilled and other people responsible; they are ambiguous and lead to confusion on many accounts. Yes questions are important when learning in school, managing your finances, or raising teenagers. But sometimes questioning finite truths lead us down a dangerous path.
Either way somethings just are. Sometimes accepting the truth is empowering and brings resolution. Instead of questions, another common approach is ignorance. I don’t condone this or encourage it as it can be costly. Besides, how can you be ignorant asking all those questions??? Ignorance isn’t bliss nor does it prevent negative outcomes. That rattling sound my engine is making, if I turn my radio up loud enough it goes away. Problem solved until God decides to turn that period into an exclamation point that cost me $800 and change!
Believe in the period:
You have a chance run in with your boyfriend/husband/spouse and his mistress/sidepiece/pregnant girlfriend and you want to fight the truth and not your man. Sure people make mistakes but don’t question that one, misguided! He cheated on you and knocked that hefer up, period.
22 people tell you what you already feel --that your relationship is making you different in a bad way, seems unhealthy, isolates you from family, and probably won’t work out. Sure they don’t know you and your boo. That doesn’t mean you go and marry him after 6 months then get upset it doesn’t work out, don’t question your uncertainty or the advice of those closest to you, follow your gut. That relationship wasn’t meant to be, period.
It’s time take care of your health either because of illness or the voice of others in your life. Don’t question that our waste second chances. I am pretty sure if you are obese, diabetic, have a history of heart problems etc… you should put down the hamburgers and fried chicken. No you can’t eat what you want just because you took your medicine. You need to eat right and take health seriously, period.
*Please don’t use the rationalization that I have been doing it for 40+ years and it hasn’t killed me yet. Newsflash you only die once and that is period followed with an exclamation point.
You go on Maury Povich to paternity test 11 guys. Don’t question the audience booing you or the anger of these men. Don’t question the disgust you feel radiating from the 257 viewers watching at home in the middle of the damn day. You’re a ho, period.
Your blackberry is on the fritz AGAIN for the umpteenth time. Don’t question your Verizon IT specialist. Don’t blame it on the network or condensation. Don’t question loyalty to team blackberry or reflect on your blackberry for president Facebook statuses. Wait for your contract to end and get an iPhone, period. I am working on this one myself J
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