I was happy to celebrate Veterans Day yesterday by thanking those that have served in the military including my dad, uncle, and cousin. In true fashion, I honored them by having a 3-day weekend. I didn’t want it to end but unfortunately it has and I’m back to being a member of the workforce.
A lot transpired this weekend, too much for me to recap but some events have contributed to me thinking more globally today. I started with the customary am I living my life to the fullest? What will happen when I depart this earth, will the legacy I leave behind be worthy of acknowledgement? What will I be handing to the next generation that signifies my morals, character, beliefs? What will be the mark I leave behind? At the current moment nothing really comes to mind other than Starburst (yes the candy).
NO, I did not invent the candy goodness but as a concept it’s what I hope to be. Follow along folks…
Sure I’m flavorful, classic, neatly packaged and sustaining through time, but I like to classify myself as a contradiction. Starburst candy is marketed as a “juicy contradiction”. I think contradiction can be good when you aren’t debating or running for office. I try not to live by the standard societal definitions used to catalogue people. I try to set my own criteria and strive to be my contradictory self. For example:
· I’m African American female but I listen to country music, hate hot sauce, dislike fried chicken (just the fried parts), have no Ass at all, I prefer not to roll my neck when arguing, and I fight with my earrings on (who has time to remove those, seriously). I have also never been arrested and have never appeared on a reality tv show (YouTube doesn’t count).
· I’m from the country; by most standards being born in Mississippi puts me at all kinds of disadvantages but I have a 2 college degrees, don’t live in a trailer, have all of my teeth (minus the wisdoms I had surgically removed), and don’t hoard livestock. I also blog which people only do above the Mason-Dixon Line depending on where you are in the Bible belt.
· I’m 29 years old and I’m not married with children and I work a great job with real benefits. I did not go to college to get an MRS and started my own business! I have lived internationally, traveled extensively, and make movies in my spare time; not the Kim Kardashian kind, I have dignity so get your minds out of the gutter people.
I like to think of myself as a contradiction! You can be liberal and have faith, you can oppose stealing but pirate music, you can believe in one God and respect the beliefs of other religions, you can be a law abiding citizen but actively protest speed limits (I have a few tickets), you can hate talking on the phone but love texting, you can love to mop but detest sweeping, and you can be organized but messy at the same damn time. The possibilities of contradiction or endless and I believe it’s what makes us unique. The very things you hate about yourself as a teenager but embrace as an adult; it’s those things that make you a juicy contradiction all your own. The legacy I want to leave is that of my own individuality and how that has shaped the things I leave behind, whether it is people or objects.
Aside from being a candy, a starburst is a pattern of rays radiating from a central point or an intense and sudden episode of star formation in a galaxy. I like to operate with those goals in mind - -Be a radiating central point of intensity with star quality! It’s less Hollywood and more ball of light impacting the galaxy I live in. I try to be a good friend, a good daughter and sister (niece and cousin too). I also work hard to be a connection point for friends and try to help others shine! Stars shine people, that’s what they are meant to do. There is plenty of room in the universe for all of us to be stars. I treat the people in my inner circle with care, support and love. My goal is to be a positive source of light and honesty for those around me. You may not always get that in my tweets (those should not be used to judge me as a person upon my death) but if you know me you know my devotion and capacity for love! Sure that also comes with sarcasm but it’s always in good fun! If you aren’t laughing around me then I haven’t done my job! If you can’t call me when you need me then I’m probably on the other line so just listen to Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Marvin and Tammi version) then give me a call back. Either way I’m intense, radiating, and burning brightly in the night sky.
I could get even more metaphorical and juxtapose the leaving of the physical body to discarding a candy wrapper or the importance of personal characteristics as related to candy ingredients and the imprinting of memories but I won’t. You just need to know I could have gone there but spared you the extra 2 paragraphs.
All of that to say candy is sweet but people are sweeter and much more complicated! I just want to leave a piece of myself behind (figuratively, not in the Silence of the Lambs way) in every person I know. I also hope to write a trashy bestselling memoir so people can read about my exploits for years to come. I may not cure cancer or be a millionaire but I hope people can look upon my life and see faith, goodness, humor, joy, compassion, and hard work in every good (and bad) decision I made, in every charitable contribution, in every relationship I valued and in all the important moments from game nights to birthing babies (my own if I can get it together) to cosigning tomfoolery and so much more.
I hope my friends and family enjoy the complicated, random, and often inappropriate memories I try to share and create. I hope that when it’s time for me to leave this earth my loved ones will miss me but carry on knowing my ghost is watching them in the creepiest way possible.
This blog was way too deep and totally self-involved for a Tuesday, even for me. The ultimate moral of my ramblings is that life is juicier because I’m here! Have a starburst and think of what you want to leave behind.
These streets are all I know… they won’t let go and I can’t turn my back on them! Starburst video for your daily funny: http://starburst.com/#/videos/meanstreets
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