We survived another election year! Pat yourselves on the back, you did it and now we can all go back to discord and debauchery! In the interest of sanity today I will not talk politics but instead focus on neighborhood etiquette. I know I live in an apartment so homeowner's fees are equated to a trash service fee paid in my rent but I have an expectation of behavior for my neighbors, just like my suburban counterparts.I have some neighbors that have absolutely no respect for the fact that I pay rent!
At what point do I earn the right to egg your door or report you for disorderly conduct. Is it so hard to be considerate in today’s society (I’m talking to you apartment 1011)?! Who vacuums at 3am, what did you spill marijuana seeds all over your floor? I have never seen my upstairs neighbor to know if he/she does drugs but I know the signs of a pot head. Anybody that leaves both of their patio doors open in less than 50 degree weather all the time, comes and goes at all hours of the night, and has the elusive nature of a sasquatch, is likely spending time with MaryJane and purchasing property in Colorado.
What I know is this, your loud music, late night cleaning habits, and flea ridden dog are keeping me up at night. If your dog is scratching so loud it makes me think somebody is knocking at my door we officially have 2 problems: 1) is the fact that your large breed dog probably exceeds complex regulations and 2) my interrupted sleep.
I work hard not to be “THAT” neighbor and it’s difficult when you live in a complex with strippers and college kids. I turn a blind eye to the 3am bbq parties in the parking lot, the new speaker system trial run that is likely to bust an eardrum, the lack of parking because of your revolving door of visitors, the excess animal waste from people never cleaning up after their pets, the guys selling meat out of the back of a truck, the dog that barks at EVERYTHING (all day, every day, on the ledge, in the bathroom, standing on two legs, no dog collar…*kevin hart voice*) or even the fact I’m subjected to soft-core porn just walking to my mailbox! I look past it all!
However, what I apparently can’t look past is the rudeness and lack of consideration of my upstairs neighbor. You leave your trash in front of the door which smells by the way! You walk like a 500lb man and never put your dog on a leash! You slam doors and blast music! I hate to break it to you Cosmo Kramer but you are really annoying!!! Get a real job already and keep some decent hours you slacker! And if you don’t want to do any of that (which is your right as an American) at least respect those of us who do!
It is bad enough my neighbor across the hall wants to go single white female on my ass, which is hard because I’m black! Always with her weird hovering, awkwardly long conversations and comments on the routine nature of my schedule. Thanks for creeping me out and no I won’t be knocking on your door if I need anything! Apparently, it is just too much to ask for reasonable quiet during sleeping hours!
This must be why people subscribe to Homeowner’s Associations, to enforce standards. Apparently you have to outline what it means to be courteous and appropriate in a rule book to get something done. Only dealing with your neighbors at meetings, legally being able to force proper yard décor, and welcome wagons soudn great! Is this what makes suburgatory appealing? I could use an over scheduled housewife right about now, holding a rule book and threatening sanctions and fines. I will even take the creepy lady from the Stepford Wives, I’m desperate!!!!
I guess the price you pay for apartment living is that some neighbors suck! I officially need to move, preferably to a house somewhere inside the perimeter with no strippers allowed and a Homeowner’s Association that is anti-garden gnome! Those things are creepy!
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