Law and Disorder

I went to court yesterday! Calm down folks, I was subpoenaed as a witness in a case. A couple of months ago I was the passenger in a 3 car accident that resulted from a non-attentive driver. Everybody was fine, only minor damage to cars, and aside from some hostile passengers and hollow threats the incident was relatively uneventful. Fast forward to a month ago when I received a subpoena in the mail to appear in court and was excited to see the justice system in action.  I can say that court is nothing like Law & Order indicated it would be and my excitement was misguided. It was dirty, crowded, and completely unorganized. I did however learn so very valuable lessons about our justice system that I would like to share.

Follow the Subpoena (for the most part) - use the address on your paperwork but not the phone number. Apparently the Records court doesn’t think having a working phone is necessary and for those interested in knowing for DeKalb that court is next to the Jail off of 285. After many attempts to call only to receive a busy signal or disconnection, I eventually just had faith in my GPS to get me where I belonged. 

Bring a Legal Dictionary - officers of the court forget that legal jargon is only meaningful to them. I watched as a room full of people (many who I concluded were working class and not necessarily highly educated) looked dazed and confused about the instructions and information that was quickly regurgitated by the DA and other staff.  Know your audience folks and make sure (especially if information is critical to decision making) that people can understand what you are saying. That aside as a college graduate I was even confused at some points!  

Pay the Fine – avoid court, as a general rule going to court will automatically cost you more money. The system has found ways to charge you fees much like your bank.  Court Appearance Fee (really)?! They crowd you in a room of people with a trial list about 8 pages long then try to sell you a dismissal program that cost you more money than your original fine but expedites the process for you and eliminates charges to your record. Hook, line and sinker…next thing you know you are paying $500 and feeling good about it.  Don’t be fooled criminal miscreants!  Be smarter than that and keep your money! Or even better don’t drive on a suspended license in the first place. I’m just thankful I was a witness and I will ALWAYS pay the ticket.

Waiting is Required – of course court starts 40 minutes late mainly because they have an obscene amount of trial candidates in one space with one judge. Throw in unclear instructions, multiple legal instructors, standard court proceedings, and roll call (the calendar) and you soon find out that waiting is inevitable. Bring a book because they make you turn off your cell phone which is archaic and cruel but I get it, respecting privacy is important, blah blah blah.

Cash is King- in the year 2012 the court system has realized that you can’t trust credit and or personal checks. They’re a cash only industry so be prepared to pay. As a witness my only cost was parking (cash only) but the defendants wow how much it sucks to be you. Fines starting at $400 with extra fees for every charge and if you can’t pay oh that’s ok, you get probation and a payment plan. Kind of like layaway but in the end you get charges on your record and if you don’t pay they lock you in the slammer until you raise the funds. Unlike liquor stores the court does not provide you with an ATMs so just bring a few stacks to cover potential costs.  You know the drill law breakers, say thank you and leave the money on the dresser.

Dress to not impress – apparently only working witnesses dress to impress. I got court chic in my business attire with my cute vest and penny loafer platforms. I was coming from work I did what I thought people would do. Apparently, I was very wrong and completely overdressed. Court attire in this decade is casual wear including jeans, t-shirts, sandals, and leggings.  The DA was business attire but even some of the lawyers representing people were dressed down. My rule of thumb is if you are standing before a judge the least you can do is put on a button up shirt and pair of slacks. Fellas club Recorder’s Court has a dress code and it’s no denim or sneakers.  What is going on these days?  

Old Buildings mean no Central Air Conditioning - you never want to walk in and see a fan or cooling equipment. But of course I had to walk around that to check in.  You would think that because central air was down or unavailable they would avoid crowding so many people in one room, plus isn’t that some sort of fire code violation?  Either way they just plug in a fan and hope you don’t pass out. So be sure to layer and drink plenty of water before you enter. Hydration is important and judges aren’t fans of delays even for medical reasons.

I will stick to Law &Order for my legal advice and knowledge base because that is my comfort zone and it has gotten me this far. I’m not going to keep ruining the facts i learn from TV with real life court participation. To my friends that have decided to become lawyers, I have mad respect for you *80's rapper voice*. This small glimpse into life in the legal system made me realize I love what I do and the fact it doesn’t require me to be in a courtroom. I also learned that I’m a law abiding citizen because I’m too cute to go to jail or court.

Truth, Justice, and the American Dream?