Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is something we all strive for and claim to wish upon our exes. But does anybody ever achieve it?  Can you sustain continuous happiness? What does that even mean? Is happiness a series of moments that happen to outweigh the bad? Or is it a sustained feeling overtime.  I think happiness is more of a sliding scale, but I also think any time groups of birds gather my greatest Hitchcock fear will come to pass; so what do I know?

Either way somebody recently asked me how I was doing, if I was happy (in the wake of being single, which is apparently the kiss of death).  My initial response was oh I am SO GOOD; I can do what I want, how I want, with who I want in every position I want you jerk! What I said was-- it could always be worse so sure I guess I am happy.  But as I thought about it, my mind turning and calculating my true feelings, my answer changed to maybe, then to no.  In the moment prior to the question I was fine, no issues, no problems, and no complaints. I was moving through my life unobstructed. But now that you have me really thinking about it perhaps I am not as happy as I could be! It was this weird observer style effect happening where the more aware I became of my cultural knowledge of “happiness” the more my thoughts of it changed.  

I was losing happiness the more I thought about it! I psyched myself out of happiness! LOL!!!  I started thinking about the things stressing me out.  My actually work projects, production for this show, my impending birthday, financial planning, lack of a sex life, work out regimes, my relationship status (PS: Facebook back-up off me and suck-it anniversary I don’t need your reminders) all kind of make me not so happy when I think about them.  However, since I wasn’t thinking about them until now, I was just fine, Content even. Some might say that means I am living in denial.  I think it’s really just living!

Sure when I focus on the bad things I am less happy about them. WE all have bad stuff looming underneath the surface. We are all one car accident, stubbed toe, hangover, or Monday away from being despondent. I have triggers just like guns and serial killers, something can initiate unhappy moments whenever. But does that mean I am unhappy! I think not.  

I began to think instead of focusing on what made me unhappy, I should relish in the things that bring me joy!  What brings me the most happiness, some would be hard pressed to believe this but it is macaroni and cheese and syfy movies.  Dear future husband, supply me with those two items randomly without me asking and I will never leave. I realized I have a few other simple loves that always bring me happiness:

·         A good football season (GO Dawgs and Saints)

·         Aquariums

·         Avocados

·         Being surrounded by people I enjoy

·         Bologna

·         Cheese

·         Cookie Dough Ice Cream

·         Cooking for other people

·         Discovery channel

·         Even numbers

·         First sip of a coca cola (in a can)

·         Fist bumping people

·         Food Network

·         Free cocktails

·         Fresh Perm (love the bounce)

·         Great, Amazing, wonderful  sex

·         Hugs

·         Lazy Sundays

·         Payday

·         Being told I am smart and funny (not necessarily at the same time or in that order)

·         Phrases with dirty meanings used in ordinary situations (i.e.  Hold on I am going to put you on three-way, we are going out for cocktails, I’m the plumber and I’m here to fix your pipes, etc). 

·         Post-it notes

·         Professional Massages

·         Puppies

·         Receiving mail ( i.e birthday cards or invitations)

·         Scratching items off to do lists (literally)

·         Spending time with my dysfunctional family (by time I mean no more than 2-4 hours)

·         Uncontrollable laughter

·         Willy’s Nachos

·         Winning at board games

So for me the pursuit of happiness doesn’t take me far because I am enjoying the little things in my life that bring me great delight in the moments they occur! It also doesn’t take me far because food often makes me happy and I keep a stocked kitchen (fat kid inside). And when I am feeling unhappy, I just inundate myself with happy things!  When unhappy feelings last a few hours, I watch reality television because it makes me content that my life isn’t a train wreck for millions to watch.  When those unhappy feelings last a few days, I go on vacation and try to eat my way into a coma.  Then I wake up refreshed with a few more pounds and a new attitude.  Cope how you can people, just don’t end up on an episode of Intervention!

Disclaimer #1: substance abuse is also a serious medical condition and I am not minimizing it in any way

Disclaimer #2: this is not speaking to those suffering from depression which is a serious medical illness

 What makes you happy people?…I am interested to know.